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A-Rod Monayyy

The Proud Franchise

Thursday, July 02, 2009

XXLMag.com | Turn My Swag Off

Soulja-boy-tweets

"Cracker" media is enough to make a nigga...

“Hop back in the bed. Turn my swag off./
When I wake up I’mma roll another blunt./
Yeah. I’m gettin monayyy./”

Continue reading "XXLMag.com | Turn My Swag Off" »

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

XXLMag.com | Young Money: Every [Little] Girl

Best play date I ever had.

Youngmoney-dora

Wow. Thank you readers for pointing out a glaring omission in my 2009 BET Awards Notes and Observations blog yesterday. Not only did I glaringly omit an “s” somewhere in my original title, but I left out any mention of the controversial Young Money performance that may very well resurrect the Emmanuel Lewis “No, Go & Tell” child safety commercials.

On Michael Jackson day, no less... Oversight of the millennium.

Continue reading "XXLMag.com | Young Money: Every [Little] Girl" »

Monday, June 29, 2009

XXLMag.com | 2009 BET Awards Notes and Observations

Jamie-foxx-lean

I know. I know. It’s Michael Jackson holiday weekend extended, which means I must suspend my quest of… holding our beloved negro music to Michael Jackson standards.

Like I give a fuck who catches feelings.

Continue reading "XXLMag.com | 2009 BET Awards Notes and Observations" »

Friday, June 26, 2009

XXLMag.com | Hurricane Chris: House of Representin' [VIDEO]

Hurricanechris-house-video

Mere text couldn't express...

Natural Light "Natastrophe" Commercial

I thought life's only "natastrophe" was being so broke you could only afford to purchase this natasty ass shit.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

XXLMag.com | Soulja Boy is Drake's Tutor

Drake-wwsd

Soulja Boy is the smartest artist of our generation, I think period and I think out of anybody. Whoever it is, I mean, whether it’s him or his team or the people around him, whoever has the thoughts to do the things he does, is genius and man, I’m so happy for him, man. That’s my dude.”

Drake, Ralphie Radio via YouTube

It’s official. Drake is Young Money. No, there hasn’t been an official signing announcement as yet. I only know as much because he and Lil’ Wayne obviously drink from the same communion Styrofoam.

Continue reading "XXLMag.com | Soulja Boy is Drake's Tutor" »

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

XXLMag.com | Rich Boy: The New Crack… For Kids

Richboy-crack-hand-kids

"Nah, it’s going to be more substance, man, because what had happened was, it messed my head up, I was riding through this project called Roger Wiliams, and this kid had asked me, 'Why you rap about crack so much, Richy?' And it just messed my head up to the point where I couldn’t get mad at the little cat. I was just like, I could tell he seen something real dealing with crack. So I was just like, Man, for the kids like that, I’d rather change my topic. If I know kids like that are listening to me."

-Rich Boy, Vibe.com

Okay, now. Put a pin in that. We'll come back to it.

Continue reading "XXLMag.com | Rich Boy: The New Crack… For Kids" »

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Ron Mexico Slanguistics

  • Whoonery (n.) -
    White coonery.
  • Negromantic (adj.) -
    Stereotypically negrous love story. Romantic scenario manufactured for black entertainment. [See: Negromatic Comedy (genre)]
  • Urban (n.) -
    Negrous in nature. Of or pertaining to Negro culture. Used in popular media to describe black shit without saying "black shit."
  • Mulletor (n.) -
    1. One who wears a mullet. 2. One of hillbilly descent. (pron.: "Skeletor")
  • Gnome Sane - (n., v., ques.)
    You know what I'm sayin'? (phonetic, colloquial)
  • Rapster (n.) -
    1. Rap performer (derogatory). 2. Hipster rapper (i.e.: Cool Kids)
  • Ashy Diamond (n.) -
    Bermuda Triangle-esque region on back where hands are unable to reach for lotion application. Variable.
  • Cropdusting (v.) -
    Blunt augmentation via foreign substances, usually of the opiate orientation. (See: MTW)
  • Coonery (n.) -
    Coon-like behavior. Anything associated with the Flavor of Love franchise. Farnsworth Bentley's day job.
  • SDN (n.) -
    Smart Dumb Nigga. (See: Katt Williams, The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1; Ghostface, The World According to Pretty Toney)
  • MTW (n., adj.) -
    More Than Weed. Laced greenery i.e.: Woolahs (PSA: Don't hit the blunt if you don't know/trust who rolled it, children.)
  • Whitney Diet (n.) -
    Cocaine in a can, baby!
  • Touchdown (n.) -
    A nigga that ain't all the way retarded, but just got a touch of Down's [Syndrome]. (i.e. Chris Brown)
  • The Negro Channel (n.) -
    Black Embarrassment Television (see: BET). Abbreviated as "TNC."
  • Snapper (n.) -
    One who performs snap music. A Franchize Boy. A Soulja Boy.
  • NPS (n.) -
    Niggas Per Sentence average. Amount of times the "n"-word is used in a single sentence.
  • ManBearPig (n.) -
    A dangerous mythical beast spawned from the imagination of Al Gore. A nickname for Tiffany "New York" Pollard's mother, Sister Patterson.
  • CB4 (n.) -
    Cock Block [Level] 4. A nickname for Tiffany "New York" Pollard.
  • Cank Stoochie (n.) -
    Nether-regions in dire need of hygienic attention. Nappy minor-league dugout. (see: Flavor of Love)
  • Blented (adj.) -
    Blunted + Bent. Twisted. Slizzard.
  • Blent (n.) -
    Black Lent. Ron Mexico's unofficial 40-day period of reflection and lament spanning from Martin Luther King, jr. Day through the end of short-ass Black History Month.
  • BDP (n.) -
    Black Diabetes Pandemic. Kool-Aid induced-suffering. The reason Big Mama lost her leg. The new Black Plague.
  • Niggaball (n.) -
    A sport likening basketball, but covered in Lawry's Seasoned Salt. AND 1 Mixtape Tour. Basketball-esque performance sorely lacking in fundamental skills. (see: Philip "Hot Sauce" Champion)

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