XXLMag.com | Negro Please: Who Exactly Has Swagger Like Puff?

Talk about negroes making SDN Tournament pushes.

As if you needed a reason to listen to “Swagger Like Puff” twice inna lifetime, Poppa Diddy Pop created 2 installments of the corresponding Diddy Blog.

I fear for Black America if there’s actually a wave of children spanning the globe that want “swagger” like Puff’s shiny ass. Swagger of that persuasion consists of trying too damn hard, pouring orange juice in inappropriate places and being an SDN on his way to beating O.D.B.–None of which is a good look.

Wu-Tang is for the children, children.

Actually, I’ll take that last one back. Shiny Suit Sean is nowhere near as lustrous as he once was. Aside from all the blood diamonds, homie’s actually looking a little ashy. Diddy got that old-nigga-at-the-club swagger in full swing with that New Jack City sweatsuit/Jeep combination.

“..and the bitches? Lawwwwd, the bitches. I got my jimmy waxed like 4 of 5 times this week! They wasn’t coming back for Da Band! They comin back for Donnie Klang!”

Donnie Klang just sounds like some weird slang term for an illicit drug.

“Lemme get some of that Donnie Klang, cuz. I’ll suck yo’ diiiick!”

Who pours orange juice on cereal? If that ain’t some Golden Girls shit, I don’t know what is. Maybe Ciroc Obama should be calling himself “Estelle Ghetto.” (R.I.P. Sophia) If he’s lactose intolerant, that’s further indication of old-ass-niggadom.

[Blogger's Note: Y'all niggas better stop actin like I was the only nigga who watched Golden Girls with grandma-nana on a slow Saturday afternoon.]

Why did he censor the pouring of orange juice on his Froot Loops (aside from the fact that shit is fucking disgusting)? Was there lean on the cereal or something? Eh, if the cereal was covered in lean I don’t think he’d ever be able to get Lil Wayne to leave the studio.

Shit… That’s how I’ll get Lil Wayne to do the theme song for my site! I’ll offer him a bowl of lean-covered Froot Loops. Genius! I can bake weed into shit. I’m pretty damn sure I can come up with an entire menu of Lean Cuisine for that poor little nigga.

Weezy: Yo, Ronnie. Lemme get another piece of that Lasagna! That shit better than Cita’s.

Ron Mexico: I knew you’d like it.

Weezy: Yah! *stammering* I could taste the lean. I could taste the lean, but… *goes into mini-stooper and quickly recovers* lemme ax you… What else you put in there?

RM: You know. Cheese. Ground turkey. Noodles and shit. That green shit on the top is grated $100 bills.

Weezy: I love you like my daddy. *comes in for kiss*

RM: *backing away* That’s aight, my nigga.

Hmm. Maybe I won’t be making that Lean Cuisine after all.

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Comments

[Lowwdwn]

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAhh...Nothing goes better with lunchtime itis than a Ronnie Mexx post. Damn Ron almost let a classic slip right by me. It's funny too cause when I put my nigga on to this last week I told him, this nigga took it back to '88 in the Jeep Wrangler w/ the sweat pant leg up, he really back opn his Puff Daddy shit, lol.

Oh and on the watching the Golden Girls tip w/ Nana...No Comment, lmao.