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« XXLMag.com | 2008 Negro Please Awards - Coon Lighting Ceremony, Part 1 | Main | Budwieser "Wine Tasting" Commercial »

Friday, January 09, 2009

XXLMag.com | 2008 Negro Please Awards - Part One: The Hateleader's Manifesto

*corny intro music performed by Lupe Fiasco & The Rubberband All-Stars*

Not just another day at the office!

Welcome to the 2008 Negro Please Awards Ceremony!

Before we officially commence our celebration of niggerdom, I’d like to take this time to wholeheartedly thank each and every one of you who have read, enjoyed and contributed your thoughts to this great symposium of hate. Given that we live in an era where critical thought and freedom of expression are the cardinal sins of our culture, I salute ye who walk with me daily. In the true spirit of our forefather, The Hon. Silk E. Johnson, we live the vision of The Haters’ Ball every single day.

Thanks for welcoming me to the XXL family this summer. Without you, there is no Ron Mexico City or Negro Please. So, negro, please raise your challis and give yourself a round of applause!

Alright. That's enough, bitches. Without further ado, may the ceremony commence!

*draws stage curtain* *Lupe Fiasco stops singing and shuffling*

(Continue reading "2008 Negro Please Awards - Part One: The Hateleader's Manifesto")

Posted by Ron Mexico at 05:58 AM in "Negro, Please!": XXLMag.com, Coonery, Film, Music, Television, Weblogs |

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geico lizard

Another classic ron

Posted by: geico lizard | Friday, January 09, 2009 at 12:22 PM

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Ron Mexico Slanguistics

  • DN (n.) -
    Dumb Nigga. (abbr.)
  • Malbum (n.) -
    Mixtape/album. A project that blurs the line between the two entities. There are both positive and negative examples of these. Most negative examples are packaged and sold by Amalbum Digital, baby!
  • Whoonery (n.) -
    White coonery.
  • Negromantic (adj.) -
    Stereotypically negrous love story. Romantic scenario manufactured for black entertainment. [See: Negromatic Comedy (genre)]
  • Urban (n.) -
    Negrous in nature. Of or pertaining to Negro culture. Used in popular media to describe black shit without saying "black shit."
  • Mulletor (n.) -
    1. One who wears a mullet. 2. One of hillbilly descent. (pron.: "Skeletor")
  • Gnome Sane - (n., v., ques.)
    You know what I'm sayin'? (phonetic, colloquial)
  • Rapster (n.) -
    1. Rap performer (derogatory). 2. Hipster rapper (i.e.: Cool Kids)
  • Ashy Diamond (n.) -
    Bermuda Triangle-esque region on back where hands are unable to reach for lotion application (variable).
  • Cropdusting (v.) -
    Blunt augmentation via foreign substances, usually of the opiate orientation. (See: MTW)
  • Coonery (n.) -
    Coon-like behavior. Anything associated with the Flavor of Love franchise. Farnsworth Bentley's day job.
  • SDN (n.) -
    Smart Dumb Nigga. (See: Katt Williams, The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1; Ghostface, The World According to Pretty Toney) (abbr.)
  • MTW (n., adj.) -
    More Than Weed. Laced greenery (i.e.: Woolahs). (PSA: Don't hit the blunt if you don't know/trust whoever rolled it, children.)
  • Whitney Diet (n.) -
    Cocaine in a can, baby!
  • Touchdown (n.) -
    A nigga that ain't all the way retarded, but just got a touch of Down's [Syndrome]. (i.e. Chris Brown)
  • The Negro Channel (n.) -
    Black Embarrassment Television (see: BET). Abbreviated as "TNC."
  • Snapper (n.) -
    One who performs snap music. A Franchize Boy. A Soulja Boy.
  • NPS (n.) -
    Niggas Per Sentence average. Amount of times the "n"-word is used in a single sentence.
  • ManBearPig (n.) -
    A dangerous mythical beast spawned from the imagination of Al Gore. A nickname for Tiffany "New York" Pollard's mother, Sister Patterson.
  • CB4 (n.) -
    Cock Block [Level] 4. A nickname for Tiffany "New York" Pollard.
  • Cank Stoochie (n.) -
    Nether-regions in dire need of hygienic attention. Nappy minor-league dugout. (see: Flavor of Love)
  • Blented (adj.) -
    Blunted + Bent. Twisted. Slizzard.
  • Blent (n.) -
    Black Lent. Ron Mexico's unofficial 40-day period of reflection and lament spanning from Dr. Martin Luther King, jr. Day through the end of short-ass Black History Month.
  • BDP (n.) -
    Black Diabetes Pandemic. Kool-Aid induced-suffering. The reason Big Mama lost her leg. The new Black Plague.
  • Niggaball (n.) -
    A sport likening basketball, but covered in Lawry's Seasoned Salt. AND 1 Mixtape Tour. Basketball-esque performance sorely lacking in fundamental skills. (see: Philip "Hot Sauce" Champion)

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