*Lupe Fiasco and band take banana break*
Ron Mexico: Please direct your attention to screen #2 for a very important message from Auto-Tuuuuuuuuuuune!
T-Pain: What it do, errrbody? This Teddy Pain AKA Nappy Boy. This year a lot of y’all karaoke fuck niggas was like, really really trynna go in with the robot voice this year. Most of y’all ended up soundin like Ron Browz and shit and ain’t been doin it right. That’s why we done came up with Auto-Tune Fitty-Leb’m (Fifty-Leven). It come pre-loaded with T-Pain hooks, bridges and even verses! Awwl yo’ old fuck nigga ass need to do is press the damn space bar. Now when you buy your Auto-Tune, you’re guaranteed to get this shit right!
Auto-Tune Fitty-Leb’m come with a extended warranty and at least two hooks left off my new album, Alcoholic Stripper Circus. Also in the box is yo’ Auto-Tune permission slip. You fill this out with the name of your new song and a link to your Myspace or whatever, and I’ll tell you if it’s okay for you to put your record out, or if you’s just a karaoke fuck nigga what need to getcha ass down to the post office and look for a job!
Ron Mexico: Robot voice. Robot voice. All the kids love the robot voice! Presenting our next award is… No. Not you, Kanye. Please sit down.
Kanye West: *ascending to main stage* No, Ron. I don’t think I’ll sit down. *removes jacket* *starts unfastening belt* How y’all gonna have the Ether of the Year and my shit ain’t even nominated? *kicks shoes into crowd*
RM: I guess the people didn’t think any of your days deserved to be up there with the Diddy Christmas, the DMX/Scott Storch, the Rick Ross… you know?
KW: Well, until you AND your people give me what I deserve, I’m gonna stand up here butt-ass naked. *drops trousers*
RM: What the FUCK?! SECURITY!!! Please escort Mr. West–
(Continue reading "XXLMag.com | 2008 Negro Please Awards - Vol 2.: The Hard Knock Life")