Ron Mexico City

XXLMag.com | Young Money: Every [Little] Girl

Best play date I ever had.

Wow. Thank you readers for pointing out a glaring omission in my 2009 BET Awards Notes and Observations blog yesterday. Not only did I glaringly omit an “s” somewhere in my original title, but I left out any mention of the controversial Young Money performance that may very well resurrect the Emmanuel Lewis “No, Go & Tell” child safety commercials.

On Michael Jackson day, no less... Oversight of the millennium.

XXLMag.com | 2009 BET Awards Notes and Observations

I know. I know. It’s Michael Jackson holiday weekend extended, which means I must suspend my quest of… holding our beloved negro music to Michael Jackson standards.

Like I give a fuck who catches feelings.

XXLMag.com | Hurricane Chris: House of Representin' [VIDEO]

Mere text couldn't express...

Natural Light "Natastrophe" Commercial

I thought life's only "natastrophe" was being so broke you could only afford to purchase this natasty ass shit.

XXLMag.com | Soulja Boy is Drake's Tutor

“Soulja Boy is the smartest artist of our generation, I think period and I think out of anybody. Whoever it is, I mean, whether it’s him or his team or the people around him, whoever has the thoughts to do the things he does, is genius and man, I’m so happy for him, man. That’s my dude.”

–Drake, Ralphie Radio via YouTube

It’s official. Drake is Young Money. No, there hasn’t been an official signing announcement as yet. I only know as much because he and Lil’ Wayne obviously drink from the same communion Styrofoam.

XXLMag.com | Rich Boy: The New Crack… For Kids

"Nah, it’s going to be more substance, man, because what had happened was, it messed my head up, I was riding through this project called Roger Wiliams, and this kid had asked me, 'Why you rap about crack so much, Richy?' And it just messed my head up to the point where I couldn’t get mad at the little cat. I was just like, I could tell he seen something real dealing with crack. So I was just like, Man, for the kids like that, I’d rather change my topic. If I know kids like that are listening to me."

-Rich Boy, Vibe.com

Okay, now. Put a pin in that. We'll come back to it.

XXLMag.com | Perez Hilton vs. Will.I.Am: Someone, Please Call 911!

As you’ve likely already heard, blogger Perez Hilton may or may not have gotten duffed out last night at one of many afterparties for the Much Music Awards in Toronto. You may also have heard that Will.I.Am of Black Eyed Peas may or may not have done the duffing.

XXLMag.com | Kedar Massenburg: Fuck Tha Police

Fuck a low-speed chase. Lil' K-Mass gets it in like the newest Grand Theft Auto game.

I found out about this crazy-ass story from my favorite light-skinted R. Kelly interviewer on Twutter. That’s right. Not “Twitter” but “Twutter”, as Charles Barkley would say.

XXLMag.com | Chopper [Sex] Suit - [VIDEO]

I gotta hand it to the imp. He ups the ante of niggerdom every time!

VERY... VERY... VERY much NSFW... or home... or anywhere else, really.

XXLMag.com | 50 Cent: Music of the Heart… Or Die Trying

No Estefan.

“What I fell in love with and inspired me to get into hip-hop is dwindling away. I’d like to be a representation of that, because there isn’t much of that left. I think people are so conscious of the numbers they’re not being creative anymore. I’ve received nothing but positive feedback on this collaboration. And it’s a surprise because it’s playing in a space where you wouldn’t traditionally hear 50 Cent. It’s exciting and it’s a whole new charge of energy for the person that is tuning in.”

-50 Cent, Billboard.com

By “this collaboration”, 50 Cent means “Mujeres En El Club” with reggaetoneros Wisin Y Yandel. By “positive feedback”, 50 means, “I haven’t left the crib in a while, but Dre and Em think it’s cool.”

Amazing. Such poignant and heartfelt words to make music by coming from one of rap’s most deliberate forgery offenders.

XXLMag.com | Max B: Twitter Was The Case

This ain’t funny. So, don’t you dare laugh.

Harlem MC/songwriter Charly Wingate, better known as Max B, is currently defending himself in a murder trial whose verdict could come at any time. Wingate’s co-defendant, Gina Conway, has turned state’s evidence and fully implicated the singer. As life hangs in the balance, his assistant and lawyer have taken the meantime to explore… um… let’s be nice for now and call them “advanced social networking strategies”.

XXLMag.com | Pretty Ricky's Spectacular Ice Jewelry Co. Commercial Parody [RMC VIDEO]

This ain't no beef.

XXLMag.com | Soulja Boy = Gucci Mane's Prowe-to-Jay

[Blogger's Note: Oh, you know damn well that's what it sounded like when he said it.]

In the forthcoming XXL issue proudly displaying what I call the Hip-Hop Apocalypse cover, Gucci Mane, OJ Da Juiceman, Shawty Lo and Soulja Boy Tell 'Em kick the soccer ball around a bit for all you aspiring trap stars and swag merchants.

Swagatarians, as we now call them.