Ron Mexico City

XXLMag.com | Def Jam Vain-detta 2: Bumfight

I’ll start this one off with a little perspective on how far DMX has fallen. DMX’s last LP, Year of the Dog… Again fell a mere 100 units short of a U.S.-record six (6) consecutive #1 debuts. He would have broken the record of 5 set by his previous record, Grand Champ.

[Blogger’s Note: That information comes from Wikipedia, which is a journalistic no-no, but I believe them niggas. I'll gladly change the lead if it's wrong.]

XXLMag.com | Def Jam Vain-detta

Just when you think Def Jam and the Thimmontheth have played dead long enough to lose interest, the niggas find reanimation in the strangest of ways.

Def Jam’s gotten a strange whirlwind of press in the rapster chronicles this weekend. First, KRS-One goes off on one of his classic, amazingly insubstantial dissertations about how Def Jam is the worst shit ever to happen to hip-hop—at the threshold of Def Jam’s big VH1 suckfest, no less.

What's Wrong With This Picture?: Soviet Edition

Don't ask me why I was patrolling Pepsi's corporate website. I'm a strange man. But, isn't this the creepiest shit you've ever seen?

XXLMag.com | Sex Education With Mr. West

“Let me explain something to y’all. There’s no such thing as a bisexual guy. If a guy is bisexual, that makes him gay. Don’t try to like, re-term it or something like that.”

-Kanye West, Hard Knock TV

Sigh. Put a pin in that pearl of awesome from Dr. Kanye Westheimer. We’ll come back to it.

Worldstar Got Some Serious Porch Monkeys on Staff

There are no words. Children have been left behind.

XXLMag.com | Breaking News: Kanye West Didn't Kill Anybody!

Whew! I was worried. I was under the impression that Kanye West had finally gone on a nationwide murder spree. I always got the impression Kanye was the type to one day snap and strangle 25 teenage white girls with Louis Vuitton shoelaces.

XXLMag.com | Lil' Boosie Needs A Milli

“[The negotiations] they going good… Same old Boosie keeping the game catering to the ladies. I brought nine songs to the album from my in-house studio. So they gotta come up for that label deal. [The record companies] gotta give me the label deal. They offered me 1.5 million for 5 albums. But that ain’t no money. I need a million dollars an album. Right now I’m in talks with Asylum, I’m already in a situation with them. We good. They fittin’ to give me my own lane. I carry every label on my back. I always been a leader my whole life. Always been a leader on the streets and I carried it over to the music. It’s gonna be Bad Azz Entertainment. I got a 16 year-old girl and she real nice.”

-Lil’ Boosie, SOHH.com

As the late, great Pimp C would say, Hol’up!!

Boosie caters to the ladies? Word? Sorry. I was thrown by that one. The nigga wants a million and thinks he’s LL Cool J. Wowsers. The sherm must be extra strong down there. Fuck.

Where the hell was I? Oh, yeah…

XXLMag.com | Pardon the Interruption: Kanye Comes Clean

The following is an excerpt from Ron Mexico City’s exclusive interview with Kanye West in the wake of a Kanyegate-marred 2009 VMAs.

[Blogger's Note: Like he hasn’t done this kind of shit before or something.]

Ron Mexico: You’re famous for your ridiculous outbursts, but you’ve earned quite a reputation for awards show freakouts. Are you aware of this? I mean, you did—

Kanye West: Yo, Ron. I’m really happy for you getting this blog and your new show and all. I’m gonna let you finish. But, Bossip had one of the greatest black weblogs of all time! One of the greatest black weblogs of all time!

XXLMag.com | Sigh. Gone?

As we observed last time in "The Legend of John Budden", TheBoombox.com has unearthed and compiled the fuckeries of sworn enemies Joe Budden and Saigon. UStream’s Jumpoff King and The Greatest Rapper You've Stopped Holding Your Breath For make a neat little Ghostface sandwich in this week’s installment of Mahhhhsterpiece Theatre.

XXLMag.com | The Legend of John Budden

It’s been a slow, yet tumultuous past couple days for a nigga. Don’t ask me how that’s possible, but please pardon the extended MIA. As an olive branch, here’s a 2-for-1 courtesy of our friends over at TheBoombox.com that rehashes the epic [fail] Saigon vs. Joe Budden clash in a very special, but unintentional way. [Blogger's Note: Except when Saigon is rehashing it himself to give you a reason to remember him.] They’re not sponsoring this Negro Please shit or anything. They just put 2 stories into one piece, so I’ll give you my thoughts on both.

XXLMag.com | The Rise of Niggarachi

Niggarachi?! Snoop’s entire existence has been one giant fuck-up since the first name change, if you ask me. When even Media Take Out is alarmed, you know shit has gotten really bad.

I guess in the official name change for his new sure-to-be-terrible project, Snoop Dogg was going for something as epic as Makaveli. He very well may have succeeded—just not the way he may have intended.

Solange Knowles: Weather Girl

What's wrong with this picture, people? Look closely... I'll wait!

Shame on me for being surprised that Solange doesn't know Brazil is a ginormous fucking country complete with time zones, climatic and topographical variation.

Nope. Brazil's like... the nicest city she's ever been to.

XXLMag.com | Benzino and The Great Spear

Nore as a journalist and “hip-hop historian” clearly ushers in a new day. [Miss] Katie Couric better watch her shit out here. Niggas got cameraphones and Blogspot!

Better than any ridiculousness that comes from Benzino’s mouth is Nore’s “Woo” every 10 seconds. Nigga soundin like Romello’s pops in Sugar Hill.

“Come here, Ray! Tie this shit up good for your father!”

“Oh, shit. Oh—oh, shit! Woo!… Wooooooo!!!”

[Blogger's Note: Give Clarence Williams III his due, goddamn you! ...and Michael Wright while you're at it!]

They Should Have Never Gave You Niggas YouTube, Vol. 317

[Blogger's Note: I know this shit is old. I just caught it sitting in my queue waiting to be released since August 21st. For shame. Blogs deserve to be free!]

This little nigga needs some friends or some shit.

Why are we applauding some obviously disturbed latch-key child who'd rather hang out in the Apple store after school than go home? Niggas should be investigating what kind of child abuse and/or torture is going on in that crib.

Negro Literacy Moment of the Day

SHA-POW!

World Star Hip-Hop is about to be the Usain Bolt of this niggerish illiteracy shit.

Kanabliss feat. Kurupt & Fingaz - "Top Down" video

Sometimes when you're patrolling WSHH for negroes to please, you come across a jewel of audio embarrassment.

Can anyone tell the #1 thing that's wrong with this video? Don't worry... I'll wait.

Need a hint?: It has absolutely nothing to do with the horrible Vancouver fuckery that tries to peer its ugly, reefer-clouded head into what the rest of hip-hop music is doing.

XXLMag.com | Make Da Blawg Say AYE!!!

AYE AYE AYE WELL OK DAMN CHICKIN CHICKIN!! Whaddup doe?! Yawlready no what it i’. Issha boi Ronnie Da Blawg Mane AKA Stoochie Mane foe awl da cank stoochie out dere. Nigga been known I git dat dere. Stop hatin on a nigga cus I been had stoochie. If yeen’t been knowin what it i’, da prolly cuh yeen’t gittin none cuz ya to bizzy hatten! BRRRR!

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