XXLMag.com | The Legend of John Budden

It’s been a slow, yet tumultuous past couple days for a nigga. Don’t ask me how that’s possible, but please pardon the extended MIA. As an olive branch, here’s a 2-for-1 courtesy of our friends over at TheBoombox.com that rehashes the epic [fail] Saigon vs. Joe Budden clash in a very special, but unintentional way. [Blogger's Note: Except when Saigon is rehashing it himself to give you a reason to remember him.] They’re not sponsoring this Negro Please shit or anything. They just put 2 stories into one piece, so I’ll give you my thoughts on both.

I actually saw the infamous Joe Budden prostitution clip a few days ago when it was posted on The Ghetto’s Finest News Source. I didn’t even want to fuck with it because there’s been entirely too much Joe Budden talk these past few months, and we’ve already established that he needs to turn the fucking camera off.

But, fuck it. As I said earlier, it’s been a slow week. Let’s discuss.

“First of all, prostitutes, a lot of the times, have much cleaner pussy than regular girls…It’s the bitch’s job to fuck. You don’t think that bitch is taking care of her pussy?”

–Joe Budden, JumpoffTV via HipHopWired.com

For those who don’t understand the context of such a strange and outlandish claim, it comes from one of Joey’s many misguided video streams in which he details his propensity for calling up sex workers when he needs his Budden polished. Surely Mr. Jumpoff is onto something when he suggests that jumpoffs for hire have added incentive to keep the stoochie un-cank—or cankless, s’il vous plait. However, just because they have incentive doesn’t mean they do. Ain’t enough Massengill and Monistat in the world to deal with the consistent side-effects of getting your shit shredded to picadillo all day err day. Granted, not all women who get their shit shredded to picadillo are hoes, but we know hoes are women who get their shit shredded to picadillo all day err day. [Blogger’s Note: See how that works? Concentric circles and shit.]

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Comments

[geico lizard]

When Joe Budden starts making sense I know I need to get some rest and stop working so hard,roffle.

[Edgar that Mexican Guy]

Hey Cinco Ocho, how you been?
First off let me say that Buddens is right in a way. We've all taken that chick home from the club and sat there in bed looking at her pastrami sandwich wondering what that Cank Stoochie has been doing with her stuff. Atleast someone who's livelihood is dependent on her snail trail, may be more apt to keep it somewhat proper.