XXLMag.com | The Ron Artest Show

This may be Captain Obvious moment of the year, but that aspiring rapster Ron Artest is an enigma to me. He consistently exhibits the behavior of a nigga who fucks with the Leon Isaac Kennedy; that Sherman Hemsley; The Love Boat; Cagney & Lacey; Silver Spoons; Alfonso Ribiero; The Fresh Prince. You get the idea. [Blogger’s Note: OK! Well, damn! You can make any old television show sound like a hallucinogen, can’t you?] One would think Artest is tweakin hard off that gutter butter—except, he’s not all sweaty and shit. This is a total Father Dowling Mystery to me. After my years in the projects becoming a fiendologist, I thought I had identifying niggas who liked to get wet down to a science. I mean, what other kind of nigga walks out onto the set of a nationally televised talk show wearing only underwear and acts like nothing's out of order?

What was that? Pardon me. They’re not underwear. I’ve just been informed he was wearing shorts. What the fuck ever.

Maybe Artest isn’t as fucked up as we think he is. The man definitely has that gleam in his eye that indicates instability of Bizzy Bone proportions, but strangely enough, the Jimmy Kimmel Live interview features an Artest that’s calmer and more reserved than I’ve ever seen. Maybe that’s all the more cause for alarm. Perhaps Artest knows exactly where he is. As a Los Angeles Laker he can take full advantage of everything the TMZ generation has to offer. He introduces Lamar Odom to Frankenberry, drops these horrendous rap videos you can’t help but watch, and goes full-Rodman on late night television.

[Blogger’s Note: Thanks to the homie @EtherTweets for that Frankenberry crack. I’ll never look at Khloe Kardashian the same way again. That’s to say we go from full on disgust to “Bwaaahahahahaha!”]

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Comments

[Same Ol' Bob]

I know good and damn well Ron didn't run out on Jimmy Kimmel Live with the Ashy Larry look. Homeslice is lookin' a little gray there. He gotta be on that "Homer Simpson."

[ron mexico]

i am REALLY loving how niggas is keepin it goin with the tv references as drug street names.

[Same Ol' Bob]

Man, Khloe Kardashian really DOES look like Frankenberry, though. I'll never be able to look at that cereal box again without crackin' up.