Dwayne M. Carter, Esq. That has a pretty swell ring to it. Then again, so does Dr. Carter. But, that’s only a rapster fantasy—not something he’s actually worked toward, right?
Actually, fuck being a lawyer. Dwayne Michael Carter knows there are plenty of other ways to use a law degree to become a powerful man. Ironically enough, he comes to this realization after having ended up on the fucked up side of said law. Young Carter’s also about to be pretty damn powerless for at least a year this coming February.
Lil’ Wayne breaks down his assessment on BET’s Chicken and Biscuits hour, where he panders to an audience before which he is fucking George Washington Carver.
“‘School,’ Wayne said about what he would do without a rap career. ‘I would probably still be in school because I would probably be studying something like law. No [I wouldn't want to be lawyer], but that’s probably what I would be doing. I like to be powerful and that’s probably something I would have done if I wouldn’t had done rapping.’”
Right… And Birdman has always wanted to be a neurologist.
[Blogger’s Note: That’s a brain surgeon for those of you who don’t know.]
Granted, Wayne has plenty to be proud of in his musical accomplishments, education aside. But if the little nigga really wanted a law degree, he could have been had lawyering degrees by now like Sha-POW! Instead, he’s been had foolishness like drug binges and raw dog sex with whoever would let the Pussy Monster out of his tiny little cage. He can’t really use his music career as an excuse for not having accomplished this conveniently fashionable goal. While attending classes in-person at University of Houston may not have been realistic, online courses are always an option. If the nigga can approve million dollar deals on his iPhone, he can fucks with University of Phoenix. Them niggas offered me like 6 different MAs last week. Replace some of the fuckery time with that fancy jig booklearnin’ shit. Even at a part-time pace, you’ll be hella close to your educational goals—if not done with them—by age 27, or however old that nigga is.
No. Wayne would rather spend spare time trying to parlay his super gremlin seed into a new Young Money roster before going into the pokey. As his New York incarceration date looms, Wayne still has to face Arizona charges. Luckily, it looks like Mack Maine or some other Young Flunkie will eat the drug and/or gun charges from last night’s Texas detainment. You would think Weezy were one of these sidewalk gibbons who believe jail is good for a nigga’s career.
Maybe Wayne’s comment about law is just some amazingly pertinent diarrhea of the mouth regarding his current situation. Aside from tossed salad prevention, law might be the most useful thing he could be an expert at right about now. It’d damn sure be more helpful than having memorized nothing but strippers’ home addresses, Call of Duty cheats and the active ingredients for every cough medication on the market.
(Continue reading "XXLMag.com | Dwayne M. Carter, Esq.")
(Return to Ron Mexico City)
Comments