They've already changed the title, but I preserved it for you to hate on accordingly. Niggas need to stop listening to all that coke gun swagg music and pick up a fucking book every now and then.
Moreffa da Albino Pimp stepped away from his own upstart BTR show to grace ours with his musings. Click his name at your own risk. He's tuned his program into the ghetto chatlines of New York and... wow. Let's just say, he's onto something when he speaks of the chatlines as being World Star in real life.
Are you fucking kidding me?! Another tie?! What the fuck is going on, haters?!
As per the precedent set by Rick Ross and Buju Banton's tie, Katt Williams and Rod Blagojevich will advance to a three-way dance with Max B! Owwwwww!
Here's your updated bracketology:
As for the complete Round 2 results, dere dey go:
East:
#1 Lil' Boosie (79.6%) def. #8 R. Kelly (20.4%) #12 OJ Da Juiceman (70.6%) def. #13 Ron Artest (29.4%) #6 WSHH Content (56.9%) def. #3 Delonte West #7 I Eat Da Pussy Boys (70.6%) def. #2 Chris Brown (29.4%)
South:
#1 Gilbert Arenas (85.0%) def. #8 Marshawn Lynch (15.0%) #4 Gerald M. Saluti (61.1%) def. #5 Charles Hamilton (38.9%) #3 Max B (57.1) def. #6 Bow Wow (42.9%) #2 Katt Williams tied. #7 Rod Blagojevich
Midwest:
#1 Tiger Woods (74.6) def. #9 Barbara Norton (25.4%) #12 Sexy Spec (64.7) def. #13 Michael Steele (35.3%) #3 Gucci Mane (68.4%) def. #6 Frankie Lons (31.6%) #2 Plaxico Burress (62.6%) def. #7 Soulja Boy Tell 'Em (37.4%)
West:
#1 Lil' Wayne (58.8%) def. #9 Chopper (41.2%) #4 DMX (50.9%) def. #12 Joe Jackson (49.1%) #3 BET Programming (56.8%) def. #6 Stephon Marbury (43.2%) #2 Buju Banton (42.0%) def. #10 Kanye West (36.0%) and #15 Rick Ross (22.0%)
We have our first tie in DNCAA history. I've enclose photo evidence just to show you I ain't bullshittin'. I know how some of you feel about polls on XXL.
We've set a new DN Tournament precedent by allowing both participants
in question to advance. Officer Ricky, Buju Banton and Kanye West will three-way dance to advance!
The complete Round 2 bracket is as follows:
Midwest Results:
#1 Tiger Woods (87.8%) def. #16 SOHH Headlines (12.2%) #9 Barbara Norton (60.5%) def. #8 Hurricane Chris (39.5%) #13 Michael Steele (69.3%) def. #4 Charlie Sheen (30.7%) #12 Sexy Spec (63.6%) def. #5 Joe Budden (36.4%) #3 Gucci Mane (71.1%) def. #14 Tila Tequila (28.9%) #6 Frankie Lons (52.0%) def. #11 Lamar Odom (48.0%) #7 Soulja Boy Tell 'Em (53.2) def. #10 Sammy Sosa (46.8%) #2 Plaxico Burress (92.0%) def. #15 Beanie Sigel (8.0%)
West Results:
#1 Lil' Wayne (75.2%) def. #16 Diddy (24.8%) #9 Chopper (66.1%) def. #8 Waka Flocka Flame (33.9%) #4 DMX (73.6%) def. #13 Kid Cudi (26.4%) #12 Joe Jackson (53.5%) def. #5 VH1 Programming #3 BET Programming (77.7%) def. #14 Nas (22.3%) #6 Stephon Marbury (68.8%) def #11 Alfamega (31.3%) #10 Kanye West (53.5%) def. #7 MTV Programming #2 Buju Banton tied #15 Rick Ross
All hate aside, thanks for participating in the 2010 DN Tournament! It's been a great success so far. It's nothing without you. This is a pivotal time for RMC and your support is greatly appreciated.
It's time for the opening tip! I don't have to tell you fine haters what to do. You already know what it is. It's your boy, Ron Mexico City. We up in this motherfucker gettin' money and shit. Fuck niggas stay on ya job! I'm bout mines! [Insert silly slogan here] Gnome sane?!
I'm sorry. Forgive me. My webcam just went off and something came over me. Here are your 16 of your 32 first round matchups.
In addition to lighting a candle for all the things he's done, we kick off this year's Blent festivities with the 2010 DN Tournament. We revealed the official field of 66 participants yesterday afternoon. This morning we are pleased to give you the full, downloadable 2010 DN Tournament bracket.
Note where Lil' Wayne faces "TBD" in the West region's opening round. This is where you come in, loyal Ron Mexico City reader.
That's right... we will have a play-in bid for the chance to get blown-out by a #1 seed. Better still, it's a THREE-WAY! No nullus.
Diddy, Game and Lupe Fiasco will take part in a three-way battle royal for the chance to participate among the following nignitaries--I mean, dignitaries.
I know what you're thinking. "Damn, Diddy and Game are playing their way in? Fuck. This shit must be deeeeeeeep!"
...and it is. Without further ado, the DNCAA selection committee presents your 63 finalists for the 2010 DN Tournament:
My instincts have never told me that Wyclef Jean is a trustworthy nigga. Needless to say, my eyebrow has been raised from the moment I observed the massive Twitter campaign to give Jean money to help the Haitian earthquake relief effort.
I was waiting for more details to emerge before weighing in on the Lloyd Banks Canadian beatdown, but fuck it. We’re only going to get statements from Chris Hines. I guess we’ll have to go with those, my fellow haters.
Based on the overwhelming support to add Banks to the 2010 DN Tournament field,
I assume most of you are aware what happened in the most cut-and-dry of
senses. For reasons still unbeknownst to us, Hines got the Choclair beaten out of him by Banks’ team.
Every now and then WSHH drops some shit that is so embarrassing I have to dust off the video talkings.
"Mr. Hit Dat Hoe?" Are these niggas fucking serious? I feel like the entire fucking coliseum is collapsing around me. That title is just one of those "Don't you naggers have mothers?" moments. Humor me, Treal and Prince Rick. Why are you hitting these hoes anyway? You can't possibly be pimps running around having to smack bitches up. What are you hitting them with?
You’ve waited long enough. It’s time to get the 2010 DN Tournament started. Welcome to the most wonderful time of the NP year.
The DNCAA selection committee has decided to eliminate the SDN and
DDN distinctions. Instead, we’re going to toss all of our
niggas–smart-dumb and dumb-dumb alike–into a single battle royale.
Ideally, we’ll have 64 seeds separated into 4 regional brackets.
No. You’re hearing that shit correctly. The guy in the winter gear
describes their work as “coon music.” It took me a few listens, but he
starts out with “ace boon coon,” like my mama and uncle used to say. He
then progresses, dropping the “ace” and “boon” from the equation.
Perhaps we should rewind the coonery and assess it from the top.
What can we say about Bow Wow that hasn’t already been said about Lil’ Romeo?
“Face numb im whippin the lambo,” he wrote. “Tispy as fuck.” Adding, “Im fucked up!!! Ohhhh damn. Y i drive the lambo. Chris [Brown] might have to drive after next spot.”
Happy New Year, everyone. It looks like we’ve got more of the same
on the naggerdom front in 2010. Perhaps the naggerdry is getting
progressively worse. I think WSHH has already shown us seven signs of
the apocalypse this week. But, I’m just the weird “old” man who shakes
his fist at everything.
Mixtape/album. A project that blurs the line between the two entities. There are both positive and negative examples of these. Most negative examples are packaged and sold by Amalbum Digital, baby!
Whoonery (n.) -
White coonery.
Negromantic (adj.) -
Stereotypically negrous love story. Romantic scenario manufactured for black entertainment. [See: Negromatic Comedy (genre)]
Urban (n.) -
Negrous in nature. Of or pertaining to Negro culture. Used in popular media to describe black shit without saying "black shit."
Mulletor (n.) -
1. One who wears a mullet. 2. One of hillbilly descent. (pron.: "Skeletor")
Bermuda Triangle-esque region on back where hands are unable to reach for lotion application (variable).
Cropdusting (v.) -
Blunt augmentation via foreign substances, usually of the opiate orientation. (See: MTW)
Coonery (n.) -
Coon-like behavior. Anything associated with the Flavor of Love franchise. Farnsworth Bentley's day job.
SDN (n.) -
Smart Dumb Nigga. (See: Katt Williams, The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1; Ghostface, The World According to Pretty Toney) (abbr.)
MTW (n., adj.) -
More Than Weed. Laced greenery (i.e.: Woolahs). (PSA: Don't hit the blunt if you don't know/trust whoever rolled it, children.)
Whitney Diet (n.) -
Cocaine in a can, baby!
Touchdown (n.) -
A nigga that ain't all the way retarded, but just got a touch of Down's [Syndrome]. (i.e. Chris Brown)
The Negro Channel (n.) -
Black Embarrassment Television (see: BET). Abbreviated as "TNC."
Snapper (n.) -
One who performs snap music. A Franchize Boy. A Soulja Boy.
NPS (n.) -
Niggas Per Sentence average. Amount of times the "n"-word is used in a single sentence.
ManBearPig (n.) -
A dangerous mythical beast spawned from the imagination of Al Gore. A nickname for Tiffany "New York" Pollard's mother, Sister Patterson.
CB4 (n.) -
Cock Block [Level] 4. A nickname for Tiffany "New York" Pollard.
Cank Stoochie (n.) -
Nether-regions in dire need of hygienic attention. Nappy minor-league dugout. (see: Flavor of Love)
Blented (adj.) -
Blunted + Bent. Twisted. Slizzard.
Blent (n.) -
Black Lent. Ron Mexico's unofficial 40-day period of reflection and lament spanning from Dr. Martin Luther King, jr. Day through the end of short-ass Black History Month.
BDP (n.) -
Black Diabetes Pandemic. Kool-Aid induced-suffering. The reason Big Mama lost her leg. The new Black Plague.
Niggaball (n.) -
A sport likening basketball, but covered in Lawry's Seasoned Salt. AND 1 Mixtape Tour. Basketball-esque performance sorely lacking in fundamental skills. (see: Philip "Hot Sauce" Champion)
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