*a la Flavor Flav* Wowwwwwww, TMZ. We're using the term "star" looser than sleeve of wizard these days, aren't we?
If being the first skank to have an STD test live on Flavor of Love makes you a star, then sure. Nicole "Hotlanta" Essigmann is Elizabeth fucking Taylor. And, sheeeeeeit, "child cruelty" was making those kids of hers watch mommy tongue down Mr. Hanky on Sunday night and sending them to school the next day.
I know daddy shopping can be hard, but... Damn, homie.
Hold the fuckin' phone. Wipe the shit down with an alcohol pad before you call Chicago Larry out this motherfucker, but hold it nonetheless. I have more than a couple of issues with this so-called story.
Why Hot-lanta's height, weight and dimensions are matters of relevance is beyond a nigga. I would also ask why Bond James Bond bail services are mentioned, but dammit if I wouldn't call attention to that shit myself. It's no Jesuuuuuuuus Christ Bail Bonds, but pretty awesome still.
I wonder how much Bond James Bond paid for that product placement.
So, you mean to tell me Hotlanta is only 29 years old? She's MY age?! I was all giving her props and shit for keeping it tight at 43. This chick was like 26 when I said that shit?! Damn. This keeps getting sadder.
I don't know what she did the other day to give us the horrific image that is her makeup-less visage, but...
Ohhhhh.... So, that's what happened. Don't you love how she says she shouldn't release the details immediately before releasing the details? I'm sure the legal team won't be pleased with that shit.
I know what you're thinking. How can we take a blog comment and assume it's really the reality television "star?" I normally take blog comments with a certain degree of doubt. There are blog comments around the internet with my name on them suggesting that Ron Mexico loves hot cock. I can sympathize with those who have weirdo online doppelgangers. But, dammit, even I couldn't have come up with a better fake Hotlanta. This is totally her. And, she had me at "I FEEL LIKE TIGER WOODS." That's just a very Flavor of Love bitch thing to say.
This Hotlanta chick's saga makes me almost regret never having covered Flavor of Love 3 beyond the season premiere. Check out (or relive) one of her many All-Star performances at VH1, who should have hired me when they had a chance. Oh, who the fuck am I kidding? They could call a nigga right now.
Reality overlords, bestow monetary favor upon your favorite son. I'll throw down on these stooch monsters like it was 2005. They call me "Mr. Hit Dat Hoe."
Ah. Just when you think you'll never get to use the "Flavor of Love" category again, one of these nasty gutter sluts pops up like one of Michael Vick's herpes sores.
P.S.: I got a Mike Vick "Please, nigga" on deck for tomorrow. Thanks for your patience, haters.
This chick is outta (I'm sorry I hit the Dirty South spell check) out of her mind. Ron, I told you before about Cobb County down hurr. Anyway, does she feel like Tiger because she let 14 of the homies smash her out? The only thing she's putting on for her city is cheese eggs, hash browns and grits at the local Waffle House.
Finally...this bitch quoted Drake from "Say Something"
wow.
Posted by: c b w | Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 09:03 AM
Don't you love how she says she shouldn't release the details immediately before releasing the details?
^^thats exactly what i thought. like,WTF? LOL.
& she cant spell.
Posted by: SOUTHSIDE A-TOWN | Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 11:52 AM
So, you mean to tell me Hotlanta is only 29 years old? She's MY age?! I was all giving her props and shit for keeping it tight at 43. This chick was like 26 when I said that shit?! Damn. This keeps getting sadder.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Man, you ain't never lied. I figured she was at least mid-thirties, but deeeeeeeeeeaaaaamn, 29. I mean the story itself is fucked up and silly, but I can't get over that shit. Thought she was a cougar, lol.
Funny how she listed paper as a priority over family and the her children. And what difference is she making in her community? Valtrex?
First Bamboozled was on last night, now this, I can see it'll be one of those kind of weeks, Nahmsayn-Nahmean, lol.
Posted by: Lowedwn | Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 12:29 PM
What is it with celebrities not being able to turn the damn Caps lock off when they write these screeds? Damn, it ain't that hard.
Posted by: Percy Mack | Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 02:55 PM
I felt like laughing when she said she's going to continue making a difference in her community and changing lives.
Yeah, a nonpaying role on a ridiculous reality show really provides the means to do such a thing.
Posted by: Shawty J | Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 08:46 PM
man she was crazy when she was on the show. talking that crap if he going take care of her kids. it's like chick you came on a show and didn't think about who going take care of your kids. what you thought you was going win and get your come up off flavor flav. BITCH PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE you never planned if he didn't pick your drunk ass. that is a tip to people drinking alot can make you look old or it could be the 3 kids hahahah.
Posted by: BIGNAT | Tuesday, February 23, 2010 at 10:50 PM
except, preach, big nat!
drinking like a damn catfish and having three babies might make a 26 year-old look 46.
lowe, i thought this chick was a damn cougar. for real, though.
Posted by: ron mexico | Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at 12:27 AM
heh ron ron man young berg fucking up again but give him a pass. he like that little kid everybody finally picked to play football. just to toss that joint up and watch and he is so happy he is about to make a catch. just to see him get the pissed knocked out of him. don't do it ron it's to easy it's just to easy.
Posted by: BIGNAT | Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at 08:13 PM
Reality star? Seriously? That chancre sore is more of a celebrity than this broad.
Hoe. Ain't nobody checking for you slut slore.
Posted by: $yk! | Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at 08:44 PM
http://www.mediatakeout.com/2010/39093-nuh_uhhhhhhhh_why_would_a_dude_get_a_tat_like_this_on_his_face____does_he_really_think_that_girls_will_like_him_more_now.html
hey ron i know you seen this hahah the next victim
Posted by: BIGNAT | Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at 09:32 PM
^ Oh shit! N*gga got a Hep C bump too!!!
LOL!
Posted by: $yk! | Wednesday, February 24, 2010 at 09:42 PM
that, my friends... is a moron.
that is the most repulsive shit i've ever seen, bignat.
and $yk, this nigga definitely on some bump j. move around!
Posted by: ron mexico | Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 05:50 AM
TMZ is helping make these people believe they are real stars we care about.
Posted by: geico lizard | Thursday, February 25, 2010 at 11:45 AM