Niggerish beverages have always sponsored Ron Mexico City-produced award ceremonies, such as the Talkin' Videos and Negro Please programs. Hennessy, St. Ides, and The Great Foot Bandit will all take a back seat to Dr. Dre's Aftermath Cognac this year.
I could imagine this would be its theme song. I mean, it's got "niggerish ways" in the chorus. How perfect is that?
I don't know who exactly will be drinking the shit, but the hater community will surely hear about it come January.
...to prison, that is. I mean, that's how it will go if we're lucky.
T.I. ain't king of shit but the top bunk in the booty house.
[Blogger's Note: That foolhardy boy lickin' on Tiny like she some extra hot Rolets pork rinds, ain't he?]
While we've discussed it at length on RMC Radio, I didn't want to let the T.I. and Tiny Rave on Wheels fuckery pass without some proper textual hate. A Twitter conversation with Ciara kind of pushed me over the edge, as we spoke about the ramifications of ladies staying with grimy-ass criminal type niggas.
Welcome back, Julie! We've missed that giggle and grounded insight in the RMC middle school locker room.
Better late than never, right? This week's episode covered "Bitches Ain't Shit," my personal Clayton Bigsby book signing moment, the newest Runaway Love, Fed Ranga's take on hip-hop covers and much, much more, as always.
The line is always open, haters. Talk to you Wednesday.
You're dealing with a hypeman who ho 'round crazy! It's on. P-pawwwwwse.
Former St. Lunatics sherm carrier Slo'Down apparently let loose on his former owner Nelly at the site best known for giving ho-ass niggas a platform.
No, not them. I mean World Star.
And, fuck it. Welcome to Nigga, Please! Fuck a C'mon Son or Negro, Please. I'm calling this shit "Nigga, Please!" from now on. I ain't got no more obligations or imposed so-called decency standards, right?
Propers to the homie Black Aristocrat for putting me onto the story, as usual.
Sometimes I wonder if these celebrities think the honorary degrees they receive from speaking and performing at institutions of higher learning magically transfer education and valid experience. The shit is like a McDonald's place mat. It does not mean one can apply for such jobs as Honorary Pres-O-Dent.
Despite being a noted stickler for grammar, I’d normally say that’s neither here nor there, but heads of state should know simple shit like proper verb agreement.
Way to not answer Wolf Blitzer's question. Two points, holmes.
Define irony. WSHH not only promotes The Boondocks--which basically reviles the site's ilk at every turn--they also bootleg the shit! That is like compound niggerish irony.
I bet those Rerrlstar niggas just like to giggle at the word "nigga." They have no idea what they are looking at. I'm sure of it.
(Click the foolhardy image to enlarge/know what I'm talking about)
No, nigga. You don't retweet people suggesting that you should be forgiven. That shit can't come from you. One must let that kind of thing rock. How you just gonna beat a nigga over the head with that?
I heard about this here fuckery around New Year's time and wanted to let the shit marinate. I was curious to see if I'd be the only person offended by it. That happens from time to time.
Sadly enough, I didn't hold out any hope for a pleasant surprise. After seeing the video for a song called "I Support Single Mothers" starring T-Pain and some scrub-ass nigga named Young Cash, I immediately assumed the worst.
Long story short, they should have never gave these niggas [fake] money!
You've done it, haters. You've pushed I eat da, I eat da, I eat da pussy to a commanding victory over Plaxico Burress. IEDPB cruised through the entire tournament. Their 63.1%-36.9% victory over the man who toppled Soulja Boy Tell 'Em, Gucci Mane, top-seeded Tiger Woods and The Negro Channel speaks volumes regarding your distaste.
In honor of this monumental victory, I have spend 2/13's period of Blent reflection on Harriet Tubman. It was her elementary school . I think we can safely say Sister Moses didn't lead slaves to northern freedom so that they could sing "I Eat Da Pussy" in front of a dancing, cooch finger-licking toddler.
I still haven't had a drop of "the white man's poison" either.
Why you would want to watch three Chopper videos is beyond me. I already told you all I don't want to hear another Chopper song until the suit gets a verse. Yes, I still read those WSHH comments.
Ole Shawn Bradley draft day suit wearin' ass nigga.
For those who may have missed yesterday's show, please forgive the sound of my phone. I had a bad connection and can never tell when that happens until the shit is over and I listen back like, "Damn. I sounded like stir-fried shit." So, I already know.
We discuss Lil' Wayne's timely dentistry, Yo Gotti's border clash, Sean Price's baby shower, The New Orleans Saints and much more, as always.
Nigga, you don't get to be a fuckin' martyr, even if you die in the monkey cage. You's a damn idiot. You should be home impregnating strippers as we speak, not rolling on that hideous blue, grey and orange NYC Corrections bus.
Feel free to have at it if you dare come face-to-face with such niggerdom. It's at the end of the podcast.
We also discussed the DN Tournament Final Four, Kesan's (From Gs to Gents) music video/public appeal and "We Are the World 2010," among countless other shit.
Moreffa da Albino Pimp stepped away from his own upstart BTR show to grace ours with his musings. Click his name at your own risk. He's tuned his program into the ghetto chatlines of New York and... wow. Let's just say, he's onto something when he speaks of the chatlines as being World Star in real life.
Are you fucking kidding me?! Another tie?! What the fuck is going on, haters?!
As per the precedent set by Rick Ross and Buju Banton's tie, Katt Williams and Rod Blagojevich will advance to a three-way dance with Max B! Owwwwww!
Here's your updated bracketology:
As for the complete Round 2 results, dere dey go:
East:
#1 Lil' Boosie (79.6%) def. #8 R. Kelly (20.4%) #12 OJ Da Juiceman (70.6%) def. #13 Ron Artest (29.4%) #6 WSHH Content (56.9%) def. #3 Delonte West #7 I Eat Da Pussy Boys (70.6%) def. #2 Chris Brown (29.4%)
South:
#1 Gilbert Arenas (85.0%) def. #8 Marshawn Lynch (15.0%) #4 Gerald M. Saluti (61.1%) def. #5 Charles Hamilton (38.9%) #3 Max B (57.1) def. #6 Bow Wow (42.9%) #2 Katt Williams tied. #7 Rod Blagojevich
Midwest:
#1 Tiger Woods (74.6) def. #9 Barbara Norton (25.4%) #12 Sexy Spec (64.7) def. #13 Michael Steele (35.3%) #3 Gucci Mane (68.4%) def. #6 Frankie Lons (31.6%) #2 Plaxico Burress (62.6%) def. #7 Soulja Boy Tell 'Em (37.4%)
West:
#1 Lil' Wayne (58.8%) def. #9 Chopper (41.2%) #4 DMX (50.9%) def. #12 Joe Jackson (49.1%) #3 BET Programming (56.8%) def. #6 Stephon Marbury (43.2%) #2 Buju Banton (42.0%) def. #10 Kanye West (36.0%) and #15 Rick Ross (22.0%)
We have our first tie in DNCAA history. I've enclose photo evidence just to show you I ain't bullshittin'. I know how some of you feel about polls on XXL.
We've set a new DN Tournament precedent by allowing both participants
in question to advance. Officer Ricky, Buju Banton and Kanye West will three-way dance to advance!
The complete Round 2 bracket is as follows:
Midwest Results:
#1 Tiger Woods (87.8%) def. #16 SOHH Headlines (12.2%) #9 Barbara Norton (60.5%) def. #8 Hurricane Chris (39.5%) #13 Michael Steele (69.3%) def. #4 Charlie Sheen (30.7%) #12 Sexy Spec (63.6%) def. #5 Joe Budden (36.4%) #3 Gucci Mane (71.1%) def. #14 Tila Tequila (28.9%) #6 Frankie Lons (52.0%) def. #11 Lamar Odom (48.0%) #7 Soulja Boy Tell 'Em (53.2) def. #10 Sammy Sosa (46.8%) #2 Plaxico Burress (92.0%) def. #15 Beanie Sigel (8.0%)
West Results:
#1 Lil' Wayne (75.2%) def. #16 Diddy (24.8%) #9 Chopper (66.1%) def. #8 Waka Flocka Flame (33.9%) #4 DMX (73.6%) def. #13 Kid Cudi (26.4%) #12 Joe Jackson (53.5%) def. #5 VH1 Programming #3 BET Programming (77.7%) def. #14 Nas (22.3%) #6 Stephon Marbury (68.8%) def #11 Alfamega (31.3%) #10 Kanye West (53.5%) def. #7 MTV Programming #2 Buju Banton tied #15 Rick Ross
All hate aside, thanks for participating in the 2010 DN Tournament! It's been a great success so far. It's nothing without you. This is a pivotal time for RMC and your support is greatly appreciated.
It's time for the opening tip! I don't have to tell you fine haters what to do. You already know what it is. It's your boy, Ron Mexico City. We up in this motherfucker gettin' money and shit. Fuck niggas stay on ya job! I'm bout mines! [Insert silly slogan here] Gnome sane?!
I'm sorry. Forgive me. My webcam just went off and something came over me. Here are your 16 of your 32 first round matchups.
In addition to lighting a candle for all the things he's done, we kick off this year's Blent festivities with the 2010 DN Tournament. We revealed the official field of 66 participants yesterday afternoon. This morning we are pleased to give you the full, downloadable 2010 DN Tournament bracket.
Note where Lil' Wayne faces "TBD" in the West region's opening round. This is where you come in, loyal Ron Mexico City reader.
My instincts have never told me that Wyclef Jean is a trustworthy nigga. Needless to say, my eyebrow has been raised from the moment I observed the massive Twitter campaign to give Jean money to help the Haitian earthquake relief effort.
I was waiting for more details to emerge before weighing in on the Lloyd Banks Canadian beatdown, but fuck it. We’re only going to get statements from Chris Hines. I guess we’ll have to go with those, my fellow haters.
Based on the overwhelming support to add Banks to the 2010 DN Tournament field,
I assume most of you are aware what happened in the most cut-and-dry of
senses. For reasons still unbeknownst to us, Hines got the Choclair beaten out of him by Banks’ team.
Every now and then WSHH drops some shit that is so embarrassing I have to dust off the video talkings.
"Mr. Hit Dat Hoe?" Are these niggas fucking serious? I feel like the entire fucking coliseum is collapsing around me. That title is just one of those "Don't you naggers have mothers?" moments. Humor me, Treal and Prince Rick. Why are you hitting these hoes anyway? You can't possibly be pimps running around having to smack bitches up. What are you hitting them with?
You’ve waited long enough. It’s time to get the 2010 DN Tournament started. Welcome to the most wonderful time of the NP year.
The DNCAA selection committee has decided to eliminate the SDN and
DDN distinctions. Instead, we’re going to toss all of our
niggas–smart-dumb and dumb-dumb alike–into a single battle royale.
Ideally, we’ll have 64 seeds separated into 4 regional brackets.
No. You’re hearing that shit correctly. The guy in the winter gear
describes their work as “coon music.” It took me a few listens, but he
starts out with “ace boon coon,” like my mama and uncle used to say. He
then progresses, dropping the “ace” and “boon” from the equation.
Perhaps we should rewind the coonery and assess it from the top.
What can we say about Bow Wow that hasn’t already been said about Lil’ Romeo?
“Face numb im whippin the lambo,” he wrote. “Tispy as fuck.” Adding, “Im fucked up!!! Ohhhh damn. Y i drive the lambo. Chris [Brown] might have to drive after next spot.”
Happy New Year, everyone. It looks like we’ve got more of the same
on the naggerdom front in 2010. Perhaps the naggerdry is getting
progressively worse. I think WSHH has already shown us seven signs of
the apocalypse this week. But, I’m just the weird “old” man who shakes
his fist at everything.
In case you are not aware, this Twitter exchange is in response the ghetto news story that saw Teddy Riley—umm—discipline his child(ren) with a Guitar Hero controller. Basically, the nigga went Quick Draw McGraw/El Kabong
on at least one of his babies. I’m not going to say this type of
behavior is right, but as I said on my podcast yesterday, I’ve seen and
gotten worse in my day. Look how awesome I turned out.
I guess Kid Cudiisn’t done addressing the criticism he took over his Canadian bitch nigga moment. I would blame Kanye West’s
influence, but I know the Cudi type all too well. He exhibits the same
dangerous combination of Eastern European dictator megalomania and Ralph Tresvant sensitivity that have already consumed West, Lupe Fiasco and a slew of other artists whose unparalleled awesomeness keep us all awake at night.
Lupe Fiasco never ceases to amaze me. As a rapper
he ups the lyrical ante every time out. As an individual he is a living
reminder that talent and intelligence are as incongruous as money and
web impressions. Blitzen kicks off a smarty-art nigga rant aimed at Elliot Wilson and RapRadar
with an improper use of “your”. As you can imagine based on how often I
attack the Lazytown approach to hip-hop grammar, I immediately judge
people who fuck shit like that up. This goes double for niggas who
operate on a platform of being smarter than everyone else.
What’s that? No, I’m not laughing. That’s just what my face looks like when I’m overcome with pain, kinda like that one terrified kid who couldn’t stop smiling in Scared Straight. Submitted for your disapproval, Lil’ Jon’s name and crunkafied visage are all over this qualifier for the upcoming 2010 Coon Olympics' premiere event. Check your dignity at the door.
Dwayne M. Carter, Esq. That has a pretty swell ring to it. Then again, so does Dr. Carter. But, that’s only a rapster fantasy—not something he’s actually worked toward, right?
Actually, fuck being a lawyer. Dwayne Michael Carter knows there are
plenty of other ways to use a law degree to become a powerful man.
Ironically enough, he comes to this realization after having ended up
on the fucked up side of said law. Young Carter’s also about to be
pretty damn powerless for at least a year this coming February.
Sure, he’s barely a rapper, but the homie Taurik put me on to Ron Artest’s blog at RonArtest.com. I can’t stand the Ron on Ron violence, but the shit needs to happen. Yesterday’s entry“My Letter to Tiger” is every bit as terrible and sadly entertaining as his musical letter to Michael, Michael, Michael, our nigga. Thus, as requested, I had to share my thoughts on the document.
I grew more and more confused with each passing moment after seeing footage of Kid Cudi going Ron Artest on some fan
at a Vancouver show this past weekend. What did Cudi think, that this
episode of contrived niggerishness was going to get him some stripes or
some shit?
After seeing the XXL coverage I realized that the scenario is about 5 times dumber than I initially thought.
There were a couple Negro Pleasings in the queue for today that came
to a screeching halt in favor of yesterday’s breaking news. Apparently
this nigga R. Kelly has decided to pen and publish a memoir.
I thought this would more than likely entail that he plans to dictate
his memoir to someone literate in preparation. Oh, was I wrong? I got
my hands on a piece of the truly self-“written” Dubel Up: The Allabygrafical Story of R. Kelly under strict instructions not to share. While my word is my bond and I’m ethical to a fault [see: Big Green career], I had to break code and share some of this shit with you fine fellow haters.
“Susan Boyle
is hot right now. I got to get her on a track, for real. We’d make a
hit… Everyone is talking about her, the lady from Britain’s Got Talent…
She’s got an amazing voice, and together we’d get everyone dancing. I’m
always looking to do something new and she’s cool, so I’ll ask somebody
to let her know… I’d love to take her clubbing, show her around my
world. She’d have a great time.”
I would hope he’s joking, but knowing 50 Cent and his propensity to
scheme, I’d bet he’s dead-ass serious. Given the sales
disappointment—by 50 Cent standards, mind you—that Before I Self Destruct
has become, I’m sure 50’s looking for the next musical gimmick that
will magically restore him to Soundscan prominence. However, he’s
already proven that music doesn’t work that way. Dare I say 50’s
incessant extramusical distractions have proven harmful to his career
as a musician? I dare indeed.
[Blogger's Note: Extramusical is a made-up word. Do not use it.]
Don’t give me a hard time about the title. It was either that or “Purple (in the Front Seat)”. Though, by the looks of the leaked dashcam footage, we have a “Black Zombie”
on our hands. Homie was definitely having trouble keeping balance on
one foot. Still, I expect him to walk a straight line blindfolded. I
guess that’s because my mind’s been molded. I’ve been taught to love
yours and hate mine.
Those of you who have been reading for a while are aware that Bone Thugs-N-Harmony
was my favorite rap group in high school. Despite my Thug Devotion, I
never felt pressured to smoke [entirely too much] weed, break a loved
one out of prison, sell a dummy rock or do any of the other incredibly
thuggish ruggish shit the band rapped and harmonized about. I just
loved the music. I guess I’m one of the lucky ones who have always been
able to stay grounded in reality despite the influences of my
surroundings. I’m not saying this shit for a pat on the back or a
stroke of the balls. But, I think saying as much is an important
precursor to my thoughts on this Bone Thugs-N-Harmony interview on Angela Yee’s program I stumbled upon last week. I fear for the health of any remaining Bone heads who still hang onto their every word.
This may be Captain Obvious moment of the year, but that aspiring
rapster Ron Artest is an enigma to me. He consistently exhibits the
behavior of a nigga who fucks with the Leon Isaac Kennedy; that Sherman Hemsley; The Love Boat; Cagney & Lacey; Silver Spoons; Alfonso Ribiero; The Fresh Prince. You get the idea. [Blogger’s Note: OK! Well, damn! You can make any old television show sound like a hallucinogen, can’t you?] One would think Artest is tweakin hard off that gutter butter—except, he’s not all sweaty and shit. This is a total Father Dowling Mystery
to me. After my years in the projects becoming a fiendologist, I
thought I had identifying niggas who liked to get wet down to a
science. I mean, what other kind of nigga walks out onto the set of a nationally televised talk show wearing only underwear and acts like nothing's out of order?
[Blogger's Note: Oh, shit! We's back! I appreciate your patience and continued support of the hate!]
I’m sorry. I’ve got to give it to Big Green on this title. “50 Cent’s Condom Campaign Bursts”? Wowsers. That is SOHH fuckin funny! Even funnier is how they describe the campaign as “long-awaited”. Word? Is that what happened with Before I Self Destruct?
I see. Niggas were really waiting for the safe sex campaign he put so
much effort into and things got confusing last Tuesday. Word. I bet the
line at Walgreens was gonna be off the fuckin hook.
Mixtape/album. A project that blurs the line between the two entities. There are both positive and negative examples of these. Most negative examples are packaged and sold by Amalbum Digital, baby!
Whoonery (n.) -
White coonery.
Negromantic (adj.) -
Stereotypically negrous love story. Romantic scenario manufactured for black entertainment. [See: Negromatic Comedy (genre)]
Urban (n.) -
Negrous in nature. Of or pertaining to Negro culture. Used in popular media to describe black shit without saying "black shit."
Mulletor (n.) -
1. One who wears a mullet. 2. One of hillbilly descent. (pron.: "Skeletor")
Bermuda Triangle-esque region on back where hands are unable to reach for lotion application (variable).
Cropdusting (v.) -
Blunt augmentation via foreign substances, usually of the opiate orientation. (See: MTW)
Coonery (n.) -
Coon-like behavior. Anything associated with the Flavor of Love franchise. Farnsworth Bentley's day job.
SDN (n.) -
Smart Dumb Nigga. (See: Katt Williams, The Pimp Chronicles Vol. 1; Ghostface, The World According to Pretty Toney) (abbr.)
MTW (n., adj.) -
More Than Weed. Laced greenery (i.e.: Woolahs). (PSA: Don't hit the blunt if you don't know/trust whoever rolled it, children.)
Whitney Diet (n.) -
Cocaine in a can, baby!
Touchdown (n.) -
A nigga that ain't all the way retarded, but just got a touch of Down's [Syndrome]. (i.e. Chris Brown)
The Negro Channel (n.) -
Black Embarrassment Television (see: BET). Abbreviated as "TNC."
Snapper (n.) -
One who performs snap music. A Franchize Boy. A Soulja Boy.
NPS (n.) -
Niggas Per Sentence average. Amount of times the "n"-word is used in a single sentence.
ManBearPig (n.) -
A dangerous mythical beast spawned from the imagination of Al Gore. A nickname for Tiffany "New York" Pollard's mother, Sister Patterson.
CB4 (n.) -
Cock Block [Level] 4. A nickname for Tiffany "New York" Pollard.
Cank Stoochie (n.) -
Nether-regions in dire need of hygienic attention. Nappy minor-league dugout. (see: Flavor of Love)
Blented (adj.) -
Blunted + Bent. Twisted. Slizzard.
Blent (n.) -
Black Lent. Ron Mexico's unofficial 40-day period of reflection and lament spanning from Dr. Martin Luther King, jr. Day through the end of short-ass Black History Month.
BDP (n.) -
Black Diabetes Pandemic. Kool-Aid induced-suffering. The reason Big Mama lost her leg. The new Black Plague.
Niggaball (n.) -
A sport likening basketball, but covered in Lawry's Seasoned Salt. AND 1 Mixtape Tour. Basketball-esque performance sorely lacking in fundamental skills. (see: Philip "Hot Sauce" Champion)
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