Ron Mexico City

XXLMag.com | Pretty Ricky… Come Get Your Man!

I have no words… Well, I guess I have to have some words if I expect to be paid and shit.

XXLMag.com | 2008 Negro Please Awards - Coon Lighting Ceremony, Part 1

Yes, nigga. I said "coon lighting."

That don't mean your daddy new night job, neither.

For those of you who know how I gets down around this time of year, I'm going to take this time to open up the floor for worthy nominations in a myriad of negrolicious categories.

XXLMag.com | Ron Mexico's Letter to Trick Trick

Dear Mr. Trick… Trick,

Please do not empty several banana clips into my mama’nem house. I’s sho sorry for being a comedy blogger—and for being the only nigga to mention you during your album promo push. I can assure it won’t ever happen again. Obviously this past Halloween was a really slow news day.  I didn’t realize my jokes contributed to your album being pushed back, thus fucking up your money somehow.

As per our arrangement, I’ll be doing everything in my power to account for all funds lost by end of business today. I was going to spend that money on some dance lessons and a keyboard big enough to actually hide behind, but your otherworldly powers of persuasion have convinced me that this way is better for all parties involved.

XXLMag.com | A Trick Trick to Eminem's Treat... Treat?

I thought it only appropriate to give Detroit some candy, this being Devil’s Night/Day of Hallows season and all.

“That’s some bullshit. If you fuck with [Eminem] I’ll bust your head but it’s not like I’m just protecting him. That’s my friend. I ride for all my friends.” -Trick Trick, XXLMag.com

Ah, yes. Friends. How many of us have them–especially in the cold-ass D?

As noted in the first sentence of the parent piece, the ever-mysterious “XXL Staff” (whoever the fuck that may be) hits the nail on the head. “Lil Wayne can’t get an Eminem verse, but Trick Trick sure can.”

I’m sure this urban domestic partnership has nothing at all to do with Trick Trick’s reputation for fucking niggas the fuck up and taking cartoon-related jewelry off of their partial-birth aborted pitbull-lookin asses. Trick seems like a pleasant enough guy, right?

(Continue reading "XXLMag.com | A Trick Trick to Eminem's Treat... Treat?")

XXLMag.com | Negro Please: SDN Tournament - And The Winner Is...

Not Hov.

Ron Mexico: Welcome to the final installment of ESDN First Hate for this 2008 SDN Tournament. Jemelle, Dana, Stuart, Skip, Scoop, Skap, Scallywhop, Jackpot, Billy X. Sunday and the rest of the ESDN staff want to thank you all for your attentiveness and participation.

Before we announce the winner of the final matchup between Division A’s #8 seed, Diddy and Division B’s #14 R. Kelly, I’d like to take this time to request a round of applause for all 32 of this year’s contestants.

All: *emphatic booing*

SDN Tournament Championship

...and then there were two.

Diddy and R. Kelly duke it out for the SDN crown! Check the original XXLMag.com entry for bracketology, analysis and a Big Green bonus.

(VOTE ADENTRO)

SDN Tournament - The Foolish Four

We're down to the last four players!

Online Surveys & Market Research

Check the original XXLMag.com entry for bracketology and analysis!

SDN Tournament, The Elite Hate - Results

The round of eight is complete!

Oh... You want the stats, don' you?

SDN Tournament, The Elite Hate - Voting

We're almost there... and as of now my Final Four is still intact.

Online Surveys & Market Research

Only 8 SDNs remain. Let's get it! Check the original XXLMag.com post for complete breakdown and ESDN analysis.

Call me Ron Van Pelt... except I don't quote nearly as much rap.

SDN Tournament, The Senseless 16 Results

Here are your Senseless 16 results.

#8 Diddy (68.1%) def. #1 Kanye West (31.9%)

Poppa Diddy Pop is picking up some serious steam. I did not expect homie to handle Kanye like that.

SDN Tournament, The Senseless 16 - Division B Voting

Division B voting is now open in the round of 16.

Online Surveys & Market Research

Please refer to the original XXLMag.com entry regarding today's festivities. Please acquire your complete SDN bracket here if yeen't already got one.

SDN Tournament, The Senseless 16 - Division A Voting

...and the second round is officially under way!

Online Surveys & Market Research

Look back and watch me trackback... all on the floor...

SDN Tournament, The Senseless 16

Here's your updated bracket.

Check the original XXLMag.com entry for analysis and bracketology.

SDN Tournament Round 1 - Division B Results

Most of these Division B matchups were landslides! I mean like... Smart Dumb Holocaust material.

Example:

#7 Flavor Flav (72.5%) def. #10 Russell Simmons (27.5%)

More results inside

SDN Tournament Round 1 - Division B Voting

It's time for Division B's opening round, chillens!

Online Surveys & Market Research

Y'all know how this goes. Polls correspond to XXLMag.com bracketology!

More Round 1 voting inside. Polls close 12:00AM Sunday 9/28 PST.

About.com Profiles Ron Mexico

Musicians editor Heather McDonald profiles hate-ologist Ron Mexico as an informational resource for journalists and bloggers.

Oh, boy. I'm like... an authority now!

XXLMag.com | Negro Please: SDN Tournament Bracketology

Welcome one and all to the First Annual Negro Please SDN Tournament!