Ron Mexico City

Earl Woods' Original Direction

For those of you who are unaware, Yahoo! specializes in dumb shit on its front page. I mean, I don't really give a fuck about what the girl from the Twilight series named her poodle or some high-school kid hitting a 3/4 court shot in practice. Needless to say, I tend to look the other way when Yahoo! tries to push its shitty sports blogs when I'm just trying to look up my baseball stats and what have you.

 

However, the motherfuckers lured me in with their reveal of who Earl Woods was actually talking about in the creepy sound bite Tiger Woods and Nike used in their deathsploitation ad.

RMC Radio 2/3/10 - Into the Abyss

Moreffa da Albino Pimp returned for our first 1-hour live broadcast to guide an RMC safari into that underworld I spoke of last week.

Feel free to have at it if you dare come face-to-face with such niggerdom. It's at the end of the podcast.

We also discussed the DN Tournament Final Four, Kesan's (From Gs to Gents) music video/public appeal and "We Are the World 2010," among countless other shit.

2010 DN Tournament - The Elite H8

Welcome to the Elite H8! Here's your updated 2010 DN Tournament bracket.

 

As Mama Mexico would say, it's gettin'... It's gettin'... It's gettin kinda hectic.

[CLICK HERE FOR THE FINAL XXL ANALYSIS]

Here are your Sweet 17 results. Thank de lawd there were no more ties.

East:

#1 Lil' Boosie (69.2%) def. #12 OJ Da Juiceman (30.8%)
#7 I Eat Da Pussy (63.2%) def. #6 WSHH Content (36.8%)

South:

#1 Gilbert Arenas (72.5%) def. #4 Gerald M. Saluti (27.5%)
#3 Max B (37.6%) def. #2 Katt Williams (32.5%) & #7 Rod Blagojevich (29.9%)

Midwest:

#1 Tiger Woods (60.5%) def. #12 Sexy Spec (39.5%)
#2 Plaxico Burress (53.8%) def. #3 Gucci Mane (46.2%)

West:

#1 Lil' Wayne (69.5%) def. #4 DMX (30.5%)
#3 BET Programming (67.8%) def. #2 Buju Banton (32.2%)

All the #1s are still alive, but Plaxico is the last deuce muffin standing. Hmmm...

East Regional Championship:

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Shit Like This Keeps WSHH Content Alive in the DN Tourney

You see this fuck-ass shit?

They've already changed the title, but I preserved it for you to hate on accordingly. Niggas need to stop listening to all that coke gun swagg music and pick up a fucking book every now and then.

RMC Radio 1/27/10 - The Rise of Moreffa da Albino Pimp

For those of you who may have missed last Wednesday's outrageous episode of our podcast that's got RMC in a tizzy--here it is.

Moreffa da Albino Pimp stepped away from his own upstart BTR show to grace ours with his musings. Click his name at your own risk. He's tuned his program into the ghetto chatlines of New York and... wow. Let's just say, he's onto something when he speaks of the chatlines as being World Star in real life.

2010 DN Tournament - The Sweet 16

Are you fucking kidding me?! Another tie?! What the fuck is going on, haters?!

As per the precedent set by Rick Ross and Buju Banton's tie, Katt Williams and Rod Blagojevich will advance to a three-way dance with Max B! Owwwwww!

Here's your updated bracketology:

As for the complete Round 2 results, dere dey go:

East:

#1 Lil' Boosie (79.6%) def. #8 R. Kelly (20.4%)
#12 OJ Da Juiceman (70.6%) def. #13 Ron Artest (29.4%)
#6 WSHH Content (56.9%) def. #3 Delonte West
#7 I Eat Da Pussy Boys (70.6%) def. #2 Chris Brown (29.4%)
 
South:

#1 Gilbert Arenas (85.0%) def. #8 Marshawn Lynch (15.0%)
#4 Gerald M. Saluti (61.1%) def. #5 Charles Hamilton (38.9%)
#3 Max B (57.1) def. #6 Bow Wow (42.9%)
#2 Katt Williams tied. #7 Rod Blagojevich

Midwest:

#1 Tiger Woods (74.6) def. #9 Barbara Norton (25.4%)
#12 Sexy Spec (64.7) def. #13 Michael Steele (35.3%)
#3 Gucci Mane (68.4%) def. #6 Frankie Lons (31.6%)
#2 Plaxico Burress (62.6%) def. #7 Soulja Boy Tell 'Em (37.4%)

West:

#1 Lil' Wayne (58.8%) def. #9 Chopper (41.2%)
#4 DMX (50.9%) def. #12 Joe Jackson (49.1%)
#3 BET Programming (56.8%) def. #6 Stephon Marbury (43.2%)
#2 Buju Banton (42.0%) def. #10 Kanye West (36.0%) and #15 Rick Ross (22.0%)

Round 3... FIGHT!

[CLICK HERE FOR XXL ANALYSIS]

East:

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2010 DN Tournament - Round 2, Midwest + West Regions

We have our first tie in DNCAA history. I've enclose photo evidence just to show you I ain't bullshittin'. I know how some of you feel about polls on XXL.

[CLICK HERE FOR XXL ANALYSIS]

 

We've set a new DN Tournament precedent by allowing both participants in question to advance. Officer Ricky, Buju Banton and Kanye West will three-way dance to advance!

The complete Round 2 bracket is as follows:

Midwest Results:

#1 Tiger Woods (87.8%) def. #16 SOHH Headlines (12.2%)
#9 Barbara Norton (60.5%) def. #8 Hurricane Chris (39.5%)
#13 Michael Steele (69.3%) def. #4 Charlie Sheen (30.7%)
#12 Sexy Spec (63.6%) def. #5 Joe Budden (36.4%)
#3 Gucci Mane (71.1%) def. #14 Tila Tequila (28.9%)
#6 Frankie Lons  (52.0%) def. #11 Lamar Odom (48.0%)
#7 Soulja Boy Tell 'Em (53.2) def. #10 Sammy Sosa (46.8%)
#2 Plaxico Burress (92.0%) def. #15 Beanie Sigel (8.0%)

West Results:

#1 Lil' Wayne (75.2%) def. #16 Diddy (24.8%)
#9 Chopper (66.1%) def. #8 Waka Flocka Flame (33.9%)
#4 DMX (73.6%) def. #13 Kid Cudi (26.4%)
#12 Joe Jackson (53.5%) def. #5 VH1 Programming
#3 BET Programming (77.7%) def. #14 Nas (22.3%)
#6 Stephon Marbury (68.8%) def #11 Alfamega (31.3%)
#10 Kanye West (53.5%) def. #7 MTV Programming
#2 Buju Banton tied #15 Rick Ross

Midwest Voting:

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2010 DN Tournament - Round 2, East + South Regions

All hate aside, thanks for participating in the 2010 DN Tournament! It's been a great success so far. It's nothing without you. This is a pivotal time for RMC and your support is greatly appreciated.

[CLICK HERE FOR XXL ANALYSIS]

But, fuck all that mushy shit. Here are your East & South region Round 1 results:

East:

#1 Lil' Boosie (87.4%) def. #16 50 Cent (12.6%)
#8. R. Kelly (73.6%) def. #9 Bossip (26.4%)
#13 Ron Artest (56.6%) def. #4 Mark Sanford (43.4%)
#12 OJ Da Juiceman (58.4%) def. #5 WSHH Comments (41.6%)
#3 Delonte West (78.2%) def. #14 Rhymefest (21.8%)
#6 WSHH Content (67.4%) def. #11 Annie the Chicken Queen (32.6%)
#7 I Eat Da Pussy Boys (92.1%) def. #10 Lil' Jon (7.9%)
#2 Chris Brown (70.8%) def. #15 Tyler Perry (29.2%)

South:

#1 Gilbert Arenas (77.4%) def. #16 Lil' Mama (22.6%)
#8 Marshawn Lynch (62.9%) def. #9 Bone Thugs -N- Harmony (37.1%)
#4 Gerald M. Saluti (83.2%) def. #13 Method Man (16.8%)
#5 Charles Hamilton (62.7%) def. #12 SOHH Comments (37.3%)
#3 Max B (73.9%) def. #14 Shaquille O'Neal (26.1)
#6 Bow Wow (73.7%) def. #11 Shakur (26.3%)
#7 Rod Blagojevich (53.2%) def. #10 Jayson Williams (46.8%)
#2 Katt Williams (86.2%) def. #15 Teddy Riley (13.8%)

Now, let's get to the Round 2 voting.

East:

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2010 DN Tournament - Round 1, West Region

Okay. It's Young Wayne on these hoes...

[CLICK HERE FOR XXL ANALYSIS]

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2010 DN Tournament - Round 1, Midwest Region

Sweet sassy mollassy! It's Tiger time!

[CLICK HERE FOR XXL ANALYSIS]

Welcome to the Midwest regional. You know how this works. Hate or die!

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2010 DN Tournament - Round 1, South & East Regions

It's time for the opening tip! I don't have to tell you fine haters what to do. You already know what it is. It's your boy, Ron Mexico City. We up in this motherfucker gettin' money and shit. Fuck niggas stay on ya job! I'm bout mines! [Insert silly slogan here] Gnome sane?!

I'm sorry. Forgive me. My webcam just went off and something came over me. Here are your 16 of your 32 first round matchups.

[Click here for full downloadable bracket and XXL matchup analysis]

South Region:

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2010 DN Tournament: Bracketology + One-Day Play-In

Happy Martin Luther King, jr. Day, everyone!

In addition to lighting a candle for all the things he's done, we kick off this year's Blent festivities with the 2010 DN Tournament. We revealed the official field of 66 participants yesterday afternoon. This morning we are pleased to give you the full, downloadable 2010 DN Tournament bracket.

Note where Lil' Wayne faces "TBD" in the West region's opening round. This is where you come in, loyal Ron Mexico City reader.

2010 DN Tournament Field of 66

That's right... we will have a play-in bid for the chance to get blown-out by a #1 seed. Better still, it's a THREE-WAY! No nullus.

Diddy, Game and Lupe Fiasco will take part in a three-way battle royal for the chance to participate among the following nignitaries--I mean, dignitaries.

I know what you're thinking. "Damn, Diddy and Game are playing their way in? Fuck. This shit must be deeeeeeeep!"

...and it is. Without further ado, the DNCAA selection committee presents your 63 finalists for the 2010 DN Tournament:

XXLMag.com | 'Clef, CLIF and the Precipice

[AKA Why CLIF?]

My instincts have never told me that Wyclef Jean is a trustworthy nigga. Needless to say, my eyebrow has been raised from the moment I observed the massive Twitter campaign to give Jean money to help the Haitian earthquake relief effort.

XXLMag.com | Lloyd Banks and the Buffalo Bills Throwback

I was waiting for more details to emerge before weighing in on the Lloyd Banks Canadian beatdown, but fuck it. We’re only going to get statements from Chris Hines. I guess we’ll have to go with those, my fellow haters.

Based on the overwhelming support to add Banks to the 2010 DN Tournament field, I assume most of you are aware what happened in the most cut-and-dry of senses. For reasons still unbeknownst to us, Hines got the Choclair beaten out of him by Banks’ team.

XXLMag.com | 2010 DN Tournament Nomination Ceremony

You’ve waited long enough. It’s time to get the 2010 DN Tournament started. Welcome to the most wonderful time of the NP year.

The DNCAA selection committee has decided to eliminate the SDN and DDN distinctions. Instead, we’re going to toss all of our niggas–smart-dumb and dumb-dumb alike–into a single battle royale. Ideally, we’ll have 64 seeds separated into 4 regional brackets.

XXLMag.com | Consequence and Diddy's Coon Picnic

I am going to give you a minute to observe this special camera time with Consequence, Diddy and some dude they refer to as “LB.” I refer to him as the “coon catalyst.” See, you don’t know what I mean yet. You haven’t gotten that far yet to have the same confused look I did when he started spea—

I’m sorry. What’s that, now?

No. You’re hearing that shit correctly. The guy in the winter gear describes their work as “coon music.” It took me a few listens, but he starts out with “ace boon coon,” like my mama and uncle used to say. He then progresses, dropping the “ace” and “boon” from the equation. Perhaps we should rewind the coonery and assess it from the top.

XXLMag.com | Don't Tweet and Drive

What can we say about Bow Wow that hasn’t already been said about Lil’ Romeo?

“Face numb im whippin the lambo,” he wrote. “Tispy as fuck.” Adding, “Im fucked up!!! Ohhhh damn. Y i drive the lambo. Chris [Brown] might have to drive after next spot.”

-via XXLMag.com

Well, fuck. I guess there’s that.

XXLMag.com | Royce Da Rocketeer

Happy New Year, everyone. It looks like we’ve got more of the same on the naggerdom front in 2010. Perhaps the naggerdry is getting progressively worse. I think WSHH has already shown us seven signs of the apocalypse this week. But, I’m just the weird “old” man who shakes his fist at everything.

XXLMag.com | Guitar Hero: New Jack Swing Edition

In case you are not aware, this Twitter exchange is in response the ghetto news story that saw Teddy Riley—umm—discipline his child(ren) with a Guitar Hero controller. Basically, the nigga went Quick Draw McGraw/El Kabong on at least one of his babies. I’m not going to say this type of behavior is right, but as I said on my podcast yesterday, I’ve seen and gotten worse in my day. Look how awesome I turned out.

XXLMag.com | A History of Violence

I guess Kid Cudi isn’t done addressing the criticism he took over his Canadian bitch nigga moment. I would blame Kanye West’s influence, but I know the Cudi type all too well. He exhibits the same dangerous combination of Eastern European dictator megalomania and Ralph Tresvant sensitivity that have already consumed West, Lupe Fiasco and a slew of other artists whose unparalleled awesomeness keep us all awake at night.

XXLMag.com | A Loopy Fiasco

Lupe Fiasco never ceases to amaze me. As a rapper he ups the lyrical ante every time out. As an individual he is a living reminder that talent and intelligence are as incongruous as money and web impressions. Blitzen kicks off a smarty-art nigga rant aimed at Elliot Wilson and RapRadar with an improper use of “your”. As you can imagine based on how often I attack the Lazytown approach to hip-hop grammar, I immediately judge people who fuck shit like that up. This goes double for niggas who operate on a platform of being smarter than everyone else.

XXLMag.com | The King of Coon Presents: Chickenfest

What’s that? No, I’m not laughing. That’s just what my face looks like when I’m overcome with pain, kinda like that one terrified kid who couldn’t stop smiling in Scared Straight. Submitted for your disapproval, Lil’ Jon’s name and crunkafied visage are all over this qualifier for the upcoming 2010 Coon Olympics' premiere event. Check your dignity at the door.

Bring your appetite, though.

XXLMag.com | Dwayne M. Carter, Esq.

Dwayne M. Carter, Esq. That has a pretty swell ring to it. Then again, so does Dr. Carter. But, that’s only a rapster fantasy—not something he’s actually worked toward, right?

Actually, fuck being a lawyer. Dwayne Michael Carter knows there are plenty of other ways to use a law degree to become a powerful man. Ironically enough, he comes to this realization after having ended up on the fucked up side of said law. Young Carter’s also about to be pretty damn powerless for at least a year this coming February.

XXLMag.com | Ron Artest's Tiger Beat

Sure, he’s barely a rapper, but the homie Taurik put me on to Ron Artest’s blog at RonArtest.com. I can’t stand the Ron on Ron violence, but the shit needs to happen. Yesterday’s entry “My Letter to Tiger” is every bit as terrible and sadly entertaining as his musical letter to Michael, Michael, Michael, our nigga. Thus, as requested, I had to share my thoughts on the document.

XXLMag.com | Kid Cudi as Mr. Solo Bolo

I grew more and more confused with each passing moment after seeing footage of Kid Cudi going Ron Artest on some fan at a Vancouver show this past weekend. What did Cudi think, that this episode of contrived niggerishness was going to get him some stripes or some shit?

After seeing the XXL coverage I realized that the scenario is about 5 times dumber than I initially thought.

XXLMag.com | Dubel Up: The R. Kelly Story [Paperback]

There were a couple Negro Pleasings in the queue for today that came to a screeching halt in favor of yesterday’s breaking news. Apparently this nigga R. Kelly has decided to pen and publish a memoir. I thought this would more than likely entail that he plans to dictate his memoir to someone literate in preparation. Oh, was I wrong? I got my hands on a piece of the truly self-“written” Dubel Up: The Allabygrafical Story of R. Kelly under strict instructions not to share. While my word is my bond and I’m ethical to a fault [see: Big Green career], I had to break code and share some of this shit with you fine fellow haters.

XXLMag.com | Nas on Fitting the Profile

Propers to the homie DJ All Day for the alley-oop on Nas’ response to having “beaten” his Georgia DUI.

XXLMag.com | Susan Boyle: In Da Club

“Susan Boyle is hot right now. I got to get her on a track, for real. We’d make a hit… Everyone is talking about her, the lady from Britain’s Got Talent… She’s got an amazing voice, and together we’d get everyone dancing. I’m always looking to do something new and she’s cool, so I’ll ask somebody to let her know… I’d love to take her clubbing, show her around my world. She’d have a great time.”

-50 Cent, The Mirror

I would hope he’s joking, but knowing 50 Cent and his propensity to scheme, I’d bet he’s dead-ass serious. Given the sales disappointment—by 50 Cent standards, mind you—that Before I Self Destruct has become, I’m sure 50’s looking for the next musical gimmick that will magically restore him to Soundscan prominence. However, he’s already proven that music doesn’t work that way. Dare I say 50’s incessant extramusical distractions have proven harmful to his career as a musician? I dare indeed.

[Blogger's Note: Extramusical is a made-up word. Do not use it.]

XXLMag.com | Nas: Drunk [Driving] By Myself

Don’t give me a hard time about the title. It was either that or “Purple (in the Front Seat)”. Though, by the looks of the leaked dashcam footage, we have a “Black Zombie” on our hands. Homie was definitely having trouble keeping balance on one foot. Still, I expect him to walk a straight line blindfolded. I guess that’s because my mind’s been molded. I’ve been taught to love yours and hate mine.

XXLMag.com | Hurricane Chris: Best Rapster Alive

I told you. The situation is under control.

XXLMag.com | Bone and the Eazy-E Conspiracy

Those of you who have been reading for a while are aware that Bone Thugs-N-Harmony was my favorite rap group in high school. Despite my Thug Devotion, I never felt pressured to smoke [entirely too much] weed, break a loved one out of prison, sell a dummy rock or do any of the other incredibly thuggish ruggish shit the band rapped and harmonized about. I just loved the music. I guess I’m one of the lucky ones who have always been able to stay grounded in reality despite the influences of my surroundings. I’m not saying this shit for a pat on the back or a stroke of the balls. But, I think saying as much is an important precursor to my thoughts on this Bone Thugs-N-Harmony interview on Angela Yee’s program I stumbled upon last week. I fear for the health of any remaining Bone heads who still hang onto their every word.

XXLMag.com | The Ron Artest Show

This may be Captain Obvious moment of the year, but that aspiring rapster Ron Artest is an enigma to me. He consistently exhibits the behavior of a nigga who fucks with the Leon Isaac Kennedy; that Sherman Hemsley; The Love Boat; Cagney & Lacey; Silver Spoons; Alfonso Ribiero; The Fresh Prince. You get the idea. [Blogger’s Note: OK! Well, damn! You can make any old television show sound like a hallucinogen, can’t you?] One would think Artest is tweakin hard off that gutter butter—except, he’s not all sweaty and shit. This is a total Father Dowling Mystery to me. After my years in the projects becoming a fiendologist, I thought I had identifying niggas who liked to get wet down to a science. I mean, what other kind of nigga walks out onto the set of a nationally televised talk show wearing only underwear and acts like nothing's out of order?

XXLMag.com | Fredro's Industry Tales: Shynin'

Hmm. That’s weird. I thought gangsta niggas told no tales. Yet, we embark on the new straight-to-Worldstar journey that is ‘Dro Starr’s Reefer Rambles. I think that’s what he’s calling it. I’m not too sure.

XXLMag.com | Keep Ya Head Up, Boosie!

“This the same fuckin’ courtroom that threw away Mystikal, you know? So, far as takin’ the trial, shit. I’mma be a G. I’mma lay down for it, you know? 365 days. It’s somethin’, but it’s nothin’. It’s somethin’, but it’s nothin’. I’m the only one gotta do that time. Niggas be talkin’ bout keep ya head up. Nigga, fuck you! Nigga, don’t worry about if my head up. Suck my dick. Bitch, I the one gotta go do this time. Ain’t none of y’all gonna be in that bitch. Y’all gonna be at home still wiping y’all ass with Charmin. Fuck, nigga… My head down… If I’m lookin’ mad, bitch, look the other way. Don’t tell me shit 'bout ‘Keep ya head up.’ Nigga, fuck all that. I’m goin’ do time. Fuck all that. Put somethin’ in a nigga account.”

-Lil’ Boosie, Ozone Magazine via Maurice Garland

"Fuck you?" Word, Boosie? Granted, I’m not one of the triflin'-ass, hatin'-ass fuck niggas offering Boosie moral support during this difficult time he’s created for himself. But, there’s no reason to shit on the motherfuckers who are.

XXLMag.com | Owe Me Back Like You Owe Your Income Tax

Owe me back like 40 acres to blacks, indeed.

SOHH.com workhorse Cyrus Langhorne—who dons either a pseudonym or the best name in rap coverage, including Toure—often does a great job connecting news stories. However, I’m gonna give today’s “Hiyooooo” Award to TMZ’s title for the original piece covering Nas’ federal tax lein.

XXLMag.com | DMX: Live from Colorado Springs

In case you couldn’t tell from the scheduled MMA debacle, we’re onto a whole new season of Crack Attack Jack on BBC America in conjunction with The Ghetto’s Finest News Source. This week we get our hero, DMX, reacting to security putting the kabash on a performance at the Colorado community center featured on South Park.

You know, Season 7, Episode 2—the one where the crips and bloods have a sleepover.

[Blogger’s Note: No, not that BBC. Brothers Burnin’ Crills.]

XXLMag.com | Dirty Money in Your Mouth

Consider this one yet another episode of True Recession Stories. Today’s subject: Poppa Diddy Pop.

Here’s the Rap-Flavored Blog Reader’s Digest version of what went down on The Colored TRL earlier this week. Puffy rapes Estelle’s twin sister and the best of his Danity Kane leftovers, then wipes his bloody dick off on one of Jay-Z’s best songs.

[Blogger’s Note: I had been meaning to get after Puffy for his molestation of “Where I’m From” for some time now.]

XXLMag.com | Watch Your Mouth, Yellow Man

Ah no reggae chune dis!

“You can say what you say but watch what you say about our President. Think a Nobel Prize was too soon? Fine. You are not alone. You think Obama should have accomplished more since he was sworn in this past January? Fine. You are not alone. But you young man didn’t need to express your freedom of speech in such an insensitive way. Especially mere months after your stupid Rutgers joke. You’re a part of a culture built by Black and Latinos and you continue to speak in a disrespectful way towards African-Americans. Maybe I’m being too sensitive but I just don’t like it. The hip-hop community galvanized to help elect our commander-in-chief and we shouldn’t turn our back on him this soon. What are you really doin’ to change the world, disco kid?”

-Elliott Wilson, RapRadar.com

This is the abridged version of Elliott Wilson’s podcast rant in the wake of Ash*r R*th’s controversial Barack Obama Nobel Peace Prize comments. I dare not invoke his name, lest the site begin to reek of Axe Frat Boy Shower body spray and “I Love College” promo discs/weed surfaces all over again. The original YN recording contains more fiery talk about disco ball-blinded Eighties Babies, blanket statements and white boys who need to watch their mouths.

XXLMag.com | Get Up Outta There! Fuck the Ride!

By now you’re likely familiar with Soulja Boy Tell Em having been arrested late last week. If you’ve been reading Negro Please a while, you’re also aware that we’ve had a lot of laughs at Soulja Boy’s expense. We also pity his ignorance, which is not absolved by having made money. In this latest installment of The De’Andre Way, our hero seems to simultaneously botch both a “music video” shoot and criminal record.

XXLMag.com | A Eulogy for My Boo

No, this is not a lament for a dead girlfriend. Well, I guess it kind of is in a way.

I was still attending high school in 1996, which makes me an old, irrelevant, hatin-ass nigga. I know. “My Boo” by Ghost Town DJs from the So So Def Bass All-Stars album was that shit back when I was a teen and still relevant to society. We’re talking back in the days when I had yet to pay a bill of my own or sexify a fine wimminz—but was of course, center of the music-buying universe.

[Blogger’s Note: I’m rolling my eyes here.]

XXLMag.com | David, Derrion and Dereon

David Mongan put me on to a Global Grind link proudly exclaiming that David Banner has answered Ruthell Thimmontheth call to acthion in the wake of Derrion Albert’s killing. Banner’s response comes in the form of a song entitled “Something Is Wrong”, a lament for the slain teen and a discussion of other societal ills.

XXLMag.com | How High is Too High?

Fly, robin. Fly… Indeed.

I think it’s safe to say we’re all none too pleased with watching our good friend M-E-T-H OD, man. Method Man hit bud bottom by getting bagged on tax evasion charges. Didn’t we tell this nigga? Didn’t we tell this nigga not to fuck around with them people, ha? The mens and womenses of the IRS are not the demoralized cyclists in your Right Guard Power Stripe commercial. Can’t be treatin the taxman like Dean Cain in How High.

XXLMag.com | See Me in the Streets

“I went so motherf*cking hard on that n*gga he scared of me… [Bill O'Reilly] don’t wanna see me on a battle on T.V. with conversation and cameras and he d*mn sure don’t wanna see me in the hood, n*gga — he left me the f*ck alone. And I got friends like 50 Cent and Eminem, you know, so I got powerful friends who can get at his motherf*cking a** without him even knowing it. They can do that.”

-Snoop Dogg, Shade 45 via SOHH.com

Sh*t! I mean, f*cking SOHH dot motherf*cking com, n*ggas! S*metimes I c*n be SOHH f*rgetful.

XXLMag.com | Def Jam Vain-detta 2: Bumfight

I’ll start this one off with a little perspective on how far DMX has fallen. DMX’s last LP, Year of the Dog… Again fell a mere 100 units short of a U.S.-record six (6) consecutive #1 debuts. He would have broken the record of 5 set by his previous record, Grand Champ.

[Blogger’s Note: That information comes from Wikipedia, which is a journalistic no-no, but I believe them niggas. I'll gladly change the lead if it's wrong.]

XXLMag.com | Def Jam Vain-detta

Just when you think Def Jam and the Thimmontheth have played dead long enough to lose interest, the niggas find reanimation in the strangest of ways.

Def Jam’s gotten a strange whirlwind of press in the rapster chronicles this weekend. First, KRS-One goes off on one of his classic, amazingly insubstantial dissertations about how Def Jam is the worst shit ever to happen to hip-hop—at the threshold of Def Jam’s big VH1 suckfest, no less.

XXLMag.com | Sex Education With Mr. West

“Let me explain something to y’all. There’s no such thing as a bisexual guy. If a guy is bisexual, that makes him gay. Don’t try to like, re-term it or something like that.”

-Kanye West, Hard Knock TV

Sigh. Put a pin in that pearl of awesome from Dr. Kanye Westheimer. We’ll come back to it.

XXLMag.com | Breaking News: Kanye West Didn't Kill Anybody!

Whew! I was worried. I was under the impression that Kanye West had finally gone on a nationwide murder spree. I always got the impression Kanye was the type to one day snap and strangle 25 teenage white girls with Louis Vuitton shoelaces.

XXLMag.com | Lil' Boosie Needs A Milli

“[The negotiations] they going good… Same old Boosie keeping the game catering to the ladies. I brought nine songs to the album from my in-house studio. So they gotta come up for that label deal. [The record companies] gotta give me the label deal. They offered me 1.5 million for 5 albums. But that ain’t no money. I need a million dollars an album. Right now I’m in talks with Asylum, I’m already in a situation with them. We good. They fittin’ to give me my own lane. I carry every label on my back. I always been a leader my whole life. Always been a leader on the streets and I carried it over to the music. It’s gonna be Bad Azz Entertainment. I got a 16 year-old girl and she real nice.”

-Lil’ Boosie, SOHH.com

As the late, great Pimp C would say, Hol’up!!

Boosie caters to the ladies? Word? Sorry. I was thrown by that one. The nigga wants a million and thinks he’s LL Cool J. Wowsers. The sherm must be extra strong down there. Fuck.

Where the hell was I? Oh, yeah…

XXLMag.com | Pardon the Interruption: Kanye Comes Clean

The following is an excerpt from Ron Mexico City’s exclusive interview with Kanye West in the wake of a Kanyegate-marred 2009 VMAs.

[Blogger's Note: Like he hasn’t done this kind of shit before or something.]

Ron Mexico: You’re famous for your ridiculous outbursts, but you’ve earned quite a reputation for awards show freakouts. Are you aware of this? I mean, you did—

Kanye West: Yo, Ron. I’m really happy for you getting this blog and your new show and all. I’m gonna let you finish. But, Bossip had one of the greatest black weblogs of all time! One of the greatest black weblogs of all time!